I Can Show You How
by LauraLake
Summary: Anastasia has long been a submissive in the BDSM community and spent several years contracted with an amazing Dom. Now that that's ended, she wants to find a new Dom but she's not sure where to start. She meets Christian Grey and not only is she intensely attracted to him but she thinks he would be a natural Dom. Ana invites him to have a look into her world. Will he step inside?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **

**This story uses a character name from the show, _Sons of Anarchy_. However, the storyline has absolutely nothing to do with the plot of _Sons_. Mostly, I just wanted to toy around with idea of the actor who 'would have been' CG still being in the story somehow. I use Jax Teller as a character name but think of the actor who plays Jax Teller ;)**

**Also, Ana's career in this story is based on Sofia Coppola, just ****because I love her work.**

**I hope you all enjoy! -LL**

* * *

I came home from a particularly rough day and came immediately to the playroom, stripped down, and grabbed one of my favorite vibrators from the dark wooden chest before crawling on top of the silk sheets of the king sized bed. Annoyed but quite determined, here I am 45 minutes later, eyes closed tight with one hand using the vibrator and the other roaming my body. While tickling and teasing, pinching my nipples, firmly grasping my own jaw and throat the way He used to, I'm trying desperately to feel anything resembling the hand of a Dominant. I want to feel the escape, the comfort, the security. I want to feel the release that's far more rewarding than any orgasm. I need to feel submission.

_Uhhh! This isn't working!_

I drop my arms to the bed and let out a long and frustrated sigh. It's days like this one that I really miss Jax. It's been six months and these days are beginning to occur all too often. I'm going to have to figure out how to meet a new Dom soon but my life has changed so dramatically in the time since I began my arrangement with Jax. At this point, I wouldn't even know where to start looking. Jax and I were the only ones in each others' lives for six years, and eventually we seemed to lose touch with others in the community. And the way Jax and I met was so purely serendipitous, I certainly can't wait around for something like that to happen again.

I remember, I was 23 and at a movie premier afterparty that Kate had drug me to, knowing it would be easier to ditch me rather than a real date while she worked the room. As I'd predicted, we were there for less than ten minutes when she did exactly that, so I decided to wander over to the bar to have a drink while I wait for her. I remember noticing Jax already there, standing alone with his drink, leaning his back against the bar while he scanned the room. He also noticed me and once I'd made it up to the bar, he quickly turned to start talking, though he must have sensed my less-than-overjoyed mood because it took him a few minutes to actually speak.

"You look as bored here as I do," he stated in a deep husky voice. At first, I found his assumption mildly offensive but he was indeed right. I adored Kate and would always do anything for her but those sort of events were never my idea of a good time.

"Yes, I suppose I am." I said with a small sigh after ordering a pinot noir from the bartender.

"So did you come here with someone? I don't think we've met before," he asked with an air of smugness.

_Damn, I'm really not in the mood for some random man hitting on me right now!_

"We haven't," I replied dryly, looking anywhere but at him.

"Well that's too bad. You're very… beautiful." His voice was still low but something in his tone had changed to serious. I'd been utterly disinterested in the conversation from the beginning but after his hint at some unsaid meaning, I couldn't help but at least peek up to try and catch a glimpse of his expression. I noticed first, his lips curled to one side with an arrogance I would come to know all too well. As my eyes continued to search his face and when my gaze met his, I found him staring at me intensely through beautiful bright hazel eye, and there was no mistaking his meaning now. His mind was consumed with only one thing. I blushed ever so slightly but I doubt he could have noticed. Unsure of whether I wanted to carry on with this interaction yet, I instead continued my silent interrogation of him.

He was quite tall and seemed to have a slim but muscular build. Despite him being in a sleek and well-tailored suit, his look was still quite rugged with long blonde hair slicked back and a few days of stubble across his masculine jawline. He was certainly handsome, no doubt, but he was also faintly familiar looking. Because of where we were, I was almost certain he must be an actor.

_Nope! No actors Ana_.

I was just about to politely remove myself from the conversation when I caught a glimpse of the cufflinks he was wearing.

"I'm here with Kate Kavanagh. She's a journalist for Maxim Magazine," I said quickly, now attempting to continue our interaction at least long enough to catch a closer look at those cufflinks.

"Really? Well, I know Kate." He said with a markedly lighter tone and another slight smirk.

_Fuck, him too Kate?! Seriously, this really shouldn't happen this often_!

"Mmmm, well I see. How long did you and Kate… know each other?" My face surely looked displeased.

"About an hour and a half. She grilled my ass during an interview about a year back when no one knew who I was," he said as he grinned into his glass and took an arrogant sip. As he did so, his arm raised just enough that I could steal a few more glances of the cufflinks. The marking on them was discrete, so faint I had to almost squint.

"I'm Jackson Teller by the way," he informed me, though I wasn't really listening. With one more strained look following his hand as he sat his glass down and reached out toward me, asking for my hand in his, I realized I was right. The symbol on them really was the BDSM emblem.

_Holy hell! Really? Who was this guy again?_

He'd just told me but I hadn't bothered to remember it. My mind raced as I wondered if he was actually part of the lifestyle. It's possible he has no clue what the meaning of the symbol was.

_Who knows. Maybe his grandfather was secretly into kink and he'd just inherited them..._

"…And you are?" He said while I stood there staring at him, trying to quickly think of a way to find out for sure.

"Anastasia Steele." I answered while keeping my eyes fixed on his and finally extended my hand to meet his.

"Anastasia, it's nice meet you." He said in the same low tone as before.

"It's very nice to meet you too… Sir" I said quietly as I instinctually lowered my gaze to the floor. If he was part of the lifestyle, I knew that he'd take note of this gesture and as if on cue, I heard him in take a deep breath and pull his hand from mine. He took a moment to look around us, apparently deciding there were too many people nearby.

"Well... Let's step out onto the balcony so we can talk in private, shall we?" Without waiting for a response, he hooked his elbow in mine and led us both outside. Once we were tucked into a sufficiently secluded corner, he turned towards me, but remained silent for a moment. Deep in thought, he rubbed his hand across his jaw and though his scruff.

He finally spoke, and growled "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this," with one eyebrow raised and an almost shy smile that showed only a tiny sliver of his bright white teeth.

"Expecting what exactly?" I asked, curious as to what he was referring to. He stood in more silence, clearly debating something but what, I couldn't quite tell.

"You'll need to sign some paperwork."

"Paperwork? No! I'm not going to just…" I said sharply, then huffed and started again, calmer. "I don't even know you." It was common to formally got over rules and limits in writing before new partners would scene together. I'd just assumed this was what he was referring to and he must have realized it because he gave me a knowing look over his brow along with more of his shy smile.

"I just need a non-disclosure, Anastasia. I'll need that before we can talk about anything else. I have to be more careful these days."

I then became the silent one, while staring at his handsome face and considering our situation. Of course I was attracted to him, but I also knew the situation was slightly careless. I didn't know anything about this man or what he would want from me. It was impulsive of me to 'test' him and I obviously hadn't thought through what would come it.

"No, no... that's okay. We don't need to talk about anything else," I stated with somewhat feigned resolve.

"But I would really _like_ to," he replied, back to his low and serious tone. His Dom voice as I now know.

"What's your name again? Jason?"

"Jackson," he answered, still smiling through the corner of his mouth.

"Jackson look, subbing for you really wasn't my intention. I was just... curious. It was silly and I shouldn't have said anything. I should go..."

"Anastasia, wait! Please." He asked sternly as I began moving towards inside. Before I could get far, he grabbed my wrist and stepped closer to me, almost whispering in my ear.

"Why can't subbing for me _become _your intention?"

"Umm..." his obvious dominant nature had me stumbling over my thoughts. "I don't date actors."

"I'm not looking to date," he mumbled suggestively.

"And I'm also not looking to do random scenes with Doms I don't know," I said in barely a whisper, trying to maintain my 'real-life' sensibility. He released my wrist enough to slide his hand into mine for the second time of the night, then lifted it in a gesture of asking me to come along with him.

"Please, then lets get to know each other and see if we can't come to some arrangement." His charming grin did nothing to hide the overt dominance inside of him, and with one last look at that ruggedly handsome face, I gave in.

Jax and I then headed down to the nearly empty bar in the lobby of the hotel, leaving the premier party behind. In a private corner lounge area, we sat and drank and talked for the rest of the night. We discussed our experiences with the lifestyle, limits, desires, and what we would want from an arrangement. Neither Jax or I had been looking to become involved with anyone but, as we talked, we both realized that beyond our obvious chemistry, we were actually very well matched to be in a D/s arrangement together.

Jax explained that because he'd been filming _Sons_ for a year, he'd become much more recognizable and realized he couldn't participate in the lifestyle the way he used to. He had to be more careful, quit going to the clubs and find something more stable and consistent that could be carried on in private. He also knew, because he was going to be immersed in filming for a while to come, he didn't have time to maintain a traditional relationship and wasn't looking to include emotions in an arrangement.

As for me, I too would be busy, as I was a young writer/director who had just started working on my first full length feature. I also had a desire for discretion, not only because of the public nature of my work, but because I knew better than to have a reputation for sleeping with actors. Even at that time, I'd already worked too hard to be taken seriously as a female director. There weren't very many of us around and I wasn't going to be one to help tarnish our cause by looking like I was fucking my way though the business. And as for no emotions part, I knew I could handle that, I even preferred it really. All my previous D/s arrangements had been fairly short term and they were never about love or romance. Only trust.

* * *

It was only a few months after that night when Jax and I decided to move into this house together. Our work schedules were incredibly demanding and we quickly realized that living in the same place allowed us much more time for play.

_Fuck! We had some very naughty evenings here_.

This house is so beautiful but now, living here alone is a constant reminder that a very necessary part of my life isn't being fulfilled. I crawl off the playroom bed and without bothering to dress, I meander down the hall and out onto the back balcony. I grab the remote to the jacuzzi, turning on the jets, and then lean over the deck rail to look out at the ocean and night sky. It feels amazing out here, the breeze, the sound of the waves, my body completely exposed. It would feel so much better if I was out here on display for a Dom. I imagine Jax behind me with that look, fully dressed and sitting with his whiskey tumbler in hand. With that look of a man admiring your form, lustful eyes and dirty thoughts in his mind. Nothing can make you feel more wanted, more attractive, than that look while you just stand there, posed for Him, letting Him see you the way He likes you best. Naked and waiting patiently.

I sigh and look back, but He's not there of course. I resign that the hot tub will be my only company tonight so I turn and slowly step in, sinking down to my neck and lay my head against the stone. I close my eyes and try to relax enough to shake off the need I failed to satisfy in the playroon.

_I need a new Dom... Soon_.


	2. Chapter 2

CPOV

It's 1:37 am. I'm home but still at my desk and even though I've already been working for hours, I know I won't sleep so instead, I grab the list of directors I asked Andrea to compile for me. There's eight names here but I remember when she handed the list to me, her saying she really liked the first one. I didn't fucking ask her but I suppose it's possible she could know more about film than I do. The first name on the list is Anastasia Steele. I've never heard of her, which isn't all that surprising, but as I scan the list, the others do all seem vaguely familiar. I type her name into Google and a few images appear that quickly catch my eye. She looks quite young to be a successful director. I scroll down through more pictures of her and begin taking note of even the smallest details of her face. I notice her long silky brunette hair and fair porcelain skin. I notice that her eyes are a striking color of blue and her lips have a unique shape and fullness that I actually very arousing. I reposition myself in my office chair and continue looking through the pictures of her. In every one, she looks more and more beautiful. Never overly done up, just naturally beautiful. I wasn't expecting to see such an attractive young woman and I realize now that I've become completely captivated with her.

_Jesus, she is... fucking gorgeous!_

It suddenly dawns on me that I can't work with this woman. I have a strict rule about mixing business with pleasure, and the full hard on I have now makes it pretty obvious there would be a problem. Not to mention that because I don't do relationships, and definitely don't do emotions, I could only fuck her a couple of times at most. That seems to be the limit before I start seeing women looking into my eyes, pleading for me to feel the same for them as they feel for me. Looking at these pictures of Ms. Anastasia Steele right now, I truly don't think a couple of times would be enough for me.

I want to move on to the next name on the list, like I know I should, but I can't stop myself from continuing to research her and her works. She's been rather successful to be only 29. Her films The Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation are quite acclaimed. The more I learn about her, the more I realize why Andrea favored her. In the few interviews I've found with her, she's come across as intelligent and insightful, ambitious but also very gracious. As I well know, this could all be fabricated PR bullshit but her films seem to speak for themselves. It appears she has a gift for expressing the human condition, for "capturing the small nuances of moments that provoke true assimilation to her characters" as stated in one of her most recent editorial write ups. It's obvious she really would be perfect to make this documentary on Darfur, because that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Help assimilate rich spoiled assholes with a feeling, I'm sure, they've never come close to experiencing themselves. I know she could do that and I'm certain she'll be the first I interview for the project. But if I'm honest, despite my usual control over my desires, I'm not certain that once she's actually in front of me, I won't decline her for the sheer sake of allowing myself to fuck her. Either way at the point, I'm far too intrigued by this young woman and need to meet with her. Soon.

* * *

"Andrea, contact Anastasia Steele to set up an interview. Here in Seattle. Tomorrow." I snap as I walk past the reception desk and into my office. Over the course of last night, I jacked off twice while thinking of Anastasia before being able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, it did nothing but fuel my desire for her even further. Regardless though, it may have been the clear light of day that allowed me to see past my thick arousal but while Taylor drove us to Grey House this morning, I decided there was no way I was going to let my attraction for her affect her doing this project. Never, have I let a woman or sex interfere with business. Though this is technically charity, not "business" proper, which I did toss around for a while as a possible, but thinly veiled, rationalization for breaking my own rules. But no, she's perfect for the project and I won't fuck that up by crossing any lines. I'll make sure of it.

And I do mean that, but even now that I'm here in my office, when I would normally be completely engulfed in work by this time, I just stand here, hands in my suit pockets as I gaze out over Seattle. I simply can't get her face out of my mind. Those eyes, her perfect skin, and those fucking lips. Fuck! The thing that strikes me as the most odd about all this is that I don't even know this girl, never actually laid eyes on her or heard her speak, and know nothing of her personality. I can't recall ever feeling attracted to just the idea of a person. Of course I'm human and have my own sexual needs and desires but my mind has always tended to center entirely on the physical release, never on the person through which I'm finding the release. Basically, I'm a soulless asshole who provides no emotions what so ever to the women in my life. Besides the Elena shit, every woman I've slept with was attractive enough but mostly they were just victims of circumstance. They just happened to be around when I decided jacking off wouldn't cut it that night. I can say with full certainty that Anastasia would be no mere circumstantial choice...

* * *

APOV

"Ana, are you familiar with Grey Enterprises Holdings?" I hear my assistant, Kristen ask from my doorway.

"Not in the slightest. Why?" I ask as I continue typing furiously on a new script.

"Because I was just contacted by them, asking to set a meeting with you. I did a quick search, it seems it's a billion dollar company that does primarily mergers and acquisitions, but also some sustainability work. It's owned by a Mr. Christian Grey. Anyway, I looked around for some connection to the industry but I don't see anything." With that, I look up from my computer and turn towards Kristen with a skeptical look.

"Well, did they say what the meeting would be about?"

"Not specifically. The woman I spoke to, Andrea, just said it was regarding a personal project of Mr. Grey's. She wouldn't explain more than that. I'm not sure she knew herself."

"A personal project? Who exactly is this guy again?"

"I don't know, just some big-time business guy. I really couldn't find too much about him online besides the information regarding his company. But actually, you should pull him up. He's very… good looking," Kristen says, with an embarrassed but knowing grin. So I do.

_Whoa… umm. She's certainly not kidding!_

My eyes widen and my mouth parts ever so slightly. I hear Kristen giggle from the doorway.

"Okay, I guess set something up for the next evening I have open. Maybe make reservations at Chateau."

"Oh, no umm, he wants the meeting to take place in Seattle… tomorrow."

"What!? Is he kidding? I don't even know what this is about. Why would I drop everything and run to the airport for him _tomorrow_?"

"He would like to send his jet... actually."

"Is that right?" I say rhetorically as I worry my lip trough my teeth. I _am_ a little curious, there's no doubt about that… "Okay, tell him yes I suppose. Email me the schedule."

* * *

The next morning, I'm at Santa Monica Airport and being escorted by a man named Sawyer over the tarmac and onto a jet marked with the large letters 'GEH.' Once on board, we both take our seats and are offered beverages. Sawyer declines but I accept a mimosa. Normally, I would never have a drink before a meeting but I just have a feeling… an instinct really, that this day will be anything but normal. Quietly, Sawyer sits next to me, giving off no sign that's he's interested in talking. He's a big guy, tall with broad shoulders, probably ex-military if I had to guess. I can understand Mr. Grey sending a chaperone I suppose but this feels more like sending security. Why would he need to send security with me? For what feels like the entire two hours of the flight, I gaze out the window and wonder what this is all about. Why am I being flown to Seattle on a private jet with a security guard to meet a man I don't know to discuss something he hasn't disclosed to me? Maybe he's looking for new places to invest… or maybe he's buying a film studio. No, Kristen said it was a personal project. Surly this guy isn't gonna try and pitch me some stupid script he wrote and thinks is pure fucking gold. At least a dozen times, I go back and fourth, starting to wonder if I shouldn't have agreed to this…

Once we arrive in Seattle, Sawyer drives us to our destination in a black Audi SUV, while I sit in the back with the privacy glass between the front and rear seats rolled up. This is all so odd. When we park, Sawyer opens the door for me and instructs me to follow him. We walk over to an elevator in the parking garage and he enters a code once we're inside. We exit at the 28th floor and Sawyer leads us to a large and empty glass conference room. He shows me a private bathroom and tells me he will let Mr. Grey know I've arrived. I enter the restroom and walk directly over to the mirror. I use the time to mentally go over strategies for handling any hypothetical situation that may occur right now. Oddly though, I get a familiar feeling of being a submissive. Here I am, waiting and wondering what's about to happen. I have no knowledge of what this man is planing for us and so far, I've been stripped of any decision making. As much as I enjoy it, I take a deep breath and dismiss my submissive mind. This isn't the time or place. I leave the bathroom and take a seat at the large table. And I wait.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the large glass door swings open and a young dark-haired man walks in. He's dressed well but the way he carries himself tells me right away that he's not even close to a 'higher-up' around here. I've spent enough time around the business men of film to know what the ones with power look like. This guy, he's not serious enough, he has a genuine smile on his face, fuck, he might actually even be happy.

"Ms. Steele, I'm Eric Johnson, I'm with Mr. Grey's PR team. It's so nice to meet you. I love your work." He strides over to me, all too eager.

"Hello Mr. Johnson, Anastasia Steele. It's my pleasure." I shake his extended hand and give him a closed-mouth smile. "Tell me, when will Mr. Grey be joining us?"

"Oh he won't be making it today Ms. Steele, he had a sudden change of plans, he requested that I meet with you." He looks at me like this is perfectly acceptable. Like I haven't flown here on 12 hours notice for a meeting I didn't request! Like Grey didn't send a _kid_ from PR to talk to me about _his_ personal project.

_Mmm, no I don't think so Mr. Grey_.

"Is he in this building?"

"Uh, yes Ma'am, I believe so."

"Is he fucking kidding me?! Is this a joke?" I stand up and lean over the table on both hands. "Get Grey in here now or I'm walking out the door. I don't know who this boss of yours is and I don't care. What I do care about is that he's wasting my fucking time!" I suppose that was a little harsh, but now I'm just mad. If I let every man with overflowing money bags I've dealt with get away with this shit, I'd never be where I am today. I've had to stand and fight in every moment like this in order to keep my footing.

"I'll try Ms. Steele, umm, please don't leave, umm, just give me one moment…" he struggles to say as he walks backward towards the door and then quickly darts out of the room. His behavior intrigues me. Even though I was the one who just took the harsh tone with him, it's not me he's afraid of. The boss must be a real asshole.

I pace the room for a few minutes, before stopping in front of the glass wall to look out at the city. It's an amazing view, but I can't thinking about how isolated it makes you feel from the rest of the world.

"Mr. Grey will see you now," I hear a stern but polite voice say from behind me. When I turn around, I see a tall and exquisitely groomed blonde woman. She's giving me the same closed mouth smile I was giving Eric a moment ago. I must be getting closer to the power. She leads me to an expansive oak door and extends her hand towards it, offering me to enter. So I do.

_And holy hell_…

There he is, standing in front of his very large desk, legs slightly apart, with one arm wrapped across his chest and the other reaching up so that a finger covers his lips. He's looking at me from under his brow with the stare of a predator. I stop my approach but keep my eyes fixed with his, challenging his glare. He doesn't flinch. I start to wonder how long we'll square off like this when he finally growls a statement at me.

"Ms. Steele, welcome."

"Thank you," I respond with a dryness that expresses how unwelcome I actually feel. He drops his hand from his mouth, takes a deep breath, and lifts his head slightly to lessen his scowl. For a moment, I'm able to see just how handsome he really is. The pictures I'd seen of him didn't even come close to capturing how striking, how alluring he actually is in person. Just how captivating his dark stormy eyes are, how silky and masculine his voice is...

"I'm Christian Grey. Thank you for coming." He turns on his heel and walks behind his desk. "Sit… please," he says sternly while his back is to me. Even though Mr. Grey has regained his composure, I'm still standing where I was, trying to read this fucking weird situation. He turns to sit and notices I haven't moved. His eyes leave mine and travel down to my lips. His impassive expression falters as I see one corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly.

_Mmm, so he likes what he sees?_

"Have a seat," he says again. So I do. His eyes move back up to meet my gaze. "I understand you were unhappy about meeting with Mr. Johnson."

_What the hell Grey_. I know this young billionaire has to be smarter than this.

"Mr. Grey, I was under the impression this was regarding a personal project, so yes, I'd like to meet with the person to whom it's personal."

"Yes, well… here we are." Again, I notice his eyes are on my lips and his mind is somewhere else entirely.

"And what _are_ we here for... Mr. Grey?" I want him to get to the point, but certainly not because I'm in a hurry to get out of his hungry stare. I'm actually quite intrigued with the interaction happening here, even though I don't fully understand it yet. I do know that whatever business we might have together, it's definitely not what's fueling this odd tension in our conversation.

"For you to direct a short documentary for me. I do relief work in Africa, right now primarily in the Darfur region. Our methods there have been a success and I'd like to greatly expand the project. I want you to accompany me to Darfur and document how and what we're doing over there, but more importantly, I need you to capture why we're doing it. The film will be used to help attract donors and volunteers so I need the message to be compelling and real. From what I know of your work, you're quite good at capturing that."

_My my, Mr. Grey. Nowhere in that response was a question._

And now I understand. No wonder this man had me slipping into submission in the bathroom… if he's _not_ a dominant, then it's only because he just doesn't know it yet. But now... I know. I know he got where he is because of it, he beckoned me here without regard because of it, and now I'm interested in something besides business with him because of it. It's funny I didn't realize the moment I saw him because, even though his looks are more than striking, they pale in comparison to his overt dominant nature. I suppose I just wasn't expecting it but what a nice surprise to stumble onto. Truly dominant men are more rare than one would think.

"Mr. Grey, I'm flattered. And congratulations on your successful humanitarianism. I'm sure it's wonderful what you're doing. Unfortunately I can't do the project. I would love to be a part of it but my schedule's booked two years out. There's now way I could fit this in and do it any justice." I'm expecting a little push back because I'm sure he hears the word 'no,' well... fucking never. But instead, the corner of his mouth curls up again.

"Are you certain I can't change your mind?"

"Yes sir, I am," I say with a sweet smile.

"That's most unfortunate." But he's not actually disappointed. He's back to staring at my lips and I notice the minuscule adjustment he just made in his seat. I can't read his thoughts but I would stake my life that if I could see the images he's playing out in his mind, the essence of dominance and submission would be present throughout them. I'm very curious to know if I'm right. One quick question to my assistant over the phone about my schedule would've made this meeting unnecessary, but now I'm so glad I came. Three minutes of interacting with him face to face and I'm willing to adjust that schedule… a little.

"It is. But tell me, are you free tonight Mr. Grey? There's actually something I'd like to discuss with you." He stares at me contemplatively for several moments. He must be trying to read if this request of mine is one of business or pleasure. Either way, I suppose he's okay with it because he doesn't ask.

"I am… Mile High, 8 pm. Mr. Sawyer can take you anywhere you need to go until then."

"Thank you, that's very kind" We both stand to leave and as I make my way to the elevator, he follows along behind me. As soon as I push the call button, the door opens so I step in and turn to face him.

"It was nice meeting you. I'll see you at eight," I say, trying to break our silence. But he's staring again, and this time he looks almost scared. I smile back at him and laugh to myself inside.

_Don't be afraid Mr. Grey. _I'm_ not going to hurt _you_._

"Anastasia" he says with a slight nod as the door begins to close.

"Christian."

* * *

Once I'm back in the Audi, I ask Sawyer to drive me to Bloomingdales. I have time to kill and I don't feel like wearing the white silk button down and black slacks I wore to the meeting. When we arrive, Sawyer follows me in without a word, but I don't fight him on it.

_He _must_ be security because he certainly isn't good company._

For about twenty minutes, I stroll around looking for a new 'little black dress' but the one that finally calls to me is plum. It'll still work well with the black heels and beige trench coat I'm wearing so I purchase it and head back to the car. I then ask Sawyer to take me to a hotel near the restaurant and for him to please let the pilot at SeaTac know that I won't be leaving tonight. I'm not making plans to spend the night with Christian, but I am creating enough time for me to have a proper conversation with him. If he's totally naive to this topic, it could take some time for me to explain why I'm approaching him with this. But I know he would be a natural, so if it's something he would like to explore, I'd be more than happy to be the one to show him.

At the hotel, I relax for a bit and then get myself ready for dinner. I love the dress but I probably should've tried it on. It's very form fitting and making quite a display of my chest. It's certainly not helping my claim that for tonight, I'm only interested in talking to him. I stand and turn in the mirror, wondering if I should change, but I'm interrupted when the room phone rings. It's the reception desk telling me my driver is waiting. The dress will have to do so I grab my coat and head down to the lobby.

_Mmm... And so goes the lamb into the lion's den…_


	3. Chapter 3

APOV

Fifteen minutes later, the large glass door swings open and a young dark-haired man walks in. He's dressed well but the way he carries himself tells me right away that he's not even close to a 'higher-up' around here. I've spent enough time around the business men of film to know what the ones with power look like. This guy, he's not serious enough, he has a genuine smile on his face, fuck, he might actually even be happy.

"Ms. Steele, I'm Eric Johnson, I'm with Mr. Grey's PR team. It's so nice to meet you. I love your work." He strides over to me, all too eager.

"Hello Mr. Johnson, Anastasia Steele. It's my pleasure." I shake his extended hand and give him a closed-mouth smile. "Tell me, when will Mr. Grey be joining us?"

"Oh he won't be making it today Ms. Steele, he had a sudden change of plans, he requested that I meet with you." He looks at me like this is perfectly acceptable. Like I haven't flown here on 12 hours notice for a meeting I didn't request! Like Grey didn't send a _kid_ from PR to talk to me about _his_ personal project.

_Mmm, no I don't think so Mr. Grey._

"Is he in this building?"

"Uh, yes Ma'am, I believe so."

"Is he fucking kidding me?! Is this a joke?" I stand up and lean over the table on both hands. "Get Grey in here now or I'm walking out the door. I don't know who this boss of yours is and I don't care. What I do care about is that he's wasting my fucking time!" I suppose that was a little harsh, but now I'm just mad. If I let every man with money bags I've dealt with get away with this shit, I'd never be where I am today. I've had to stand and fight in every moment like this in order to keep my footing.

"I'll try Ms. Steele, umm, please don't leave, umm, just give me one moment…" he struggles to say as he walks backward towards the door and then quickly darts out of the room. His behavior intrigues me. Even though I was the one who just took the harsh tone with him, it's not me he's afraid of. The boss must be a real asshole.

I pace the room for a few minutes, before stopping in front of the glass wall to look out at the city from this amazing view.

"Mr. Grey will see you now," I hear a stern but polite voice say from behind me. When I turn around, I see a tall and exquisitely groomed blonde woman. She's giving me the same closed mouth smile I was giving Eric a moment ago. I must be getting closer to the power. She leads me to an expansive oak door and extends her hand towards it, offering me to enter. So I do.

_Holy hell…_

There he is, standing in front of his very large desk, legs slightly apart, with one arm wrapped across his chest and the other reaching up so that a finger covers his lips. He's looking at me from under his brow with the stare of a predator. I stop my approach but keep my eyes fixed with his, challenging his glare. He doesn't flinch. I start to wonder how long we'll square off like this when he finally growls a statement at me.

"Ms. Steele, welcome."

"Thank you," I respond with a dryness that expresses how unwelcome I feel. He drops his hand from his mouth, takes a deep breath, and lifts his head slightly to lessen his scowl.

"I'm Christian Grey. Thank you for coming." He turns on his heel and walks behind his desk. "Sit… please," he says sternly while his back is to me. Even though Mr. Grey has regained his composure, I'm still standing where I was, trying to read this fucking weird situation. He turns to sit and notices I haven't moved. His eyes leave mine and travel down to my lips. His impassive expression falters as I see one corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly.

_Mmm, so he likes what he sees?_

"Sit," he says again. So I do. His eyes move back up to meet my gaze. "I understand you were unhappy about meeting with Mr. Johnson."

_What the hell. I know this young billionaire has to be smarter than this._

"I was under the impression this was regarding a personal project, so yes, I'd like to meet the person to whom it's personal."

"Yes, well… here we are." Again, I notice his eyes are on my lips and his mind is somewhere else entirely.

"And what are we here _for_ Mr. Grey?" I want him to get to the point, but not because I'm in a hurry to get out of his hungry stare. I'm actually quite intrigued with the interaction happening here, even though I don't fully understand it yet. I do know that whatever business we might have together, it's definitely not what's fueling the odd tension in our conversation.

"For you to direct a short documentary for me. I do relief work in Africa, right now primarily in the Darfur region. Our method there has been a success and I'd like to greatly expand the project. I want you to accompany me to Darfur and document how and what we're doing over there, but more importantly, I need you to capture _why_ we're doing it. The film will be used to help attract donors and volunteers so I need the message to be compelling and real. From what I know of your work, you're quite good at capturing that."

_My my, Mr. Grey. Nowhere in that response was a question._

And now I understand. No wonder this man had me slipping into submission in the bathroom… if he's _not_ a dominant, then it's only because he just doesn't know it yet. But now I know. I know he got where he is because of it, he beckoned me here without regard because of it, and now I'm interested in something besides business with him because of it. It's funny I didn't realize the moment I saw him because, even though his looks are more than striking, they pale in comparison to his overt dominant nature. I suppose I just wasn't expecting it.

"Mr. Grey, I'm flattered. And congratulations on your successful humanitarianism. I'm sure it's wonderful what you're doing. Unfortunately I can't do the project. I would love to be a part of it but my schedule's booked two years out. There's now way I could fit this in and do it any justice." I'm expecting a little push back because I'm sure he hears the word 'no,' well, fucking never. But instead, the corner of his mouth curls up again.

"Are you certain I can't change your mind?"

"Yes sir, I am," I say with a sweet smile.

"That's most unfortunate." But he's not actually disappointed. He's back to staring at my lips and I notice the minuscule adjustment he just made in his seat. I can't read his thoughts but I would stake my life that if I could see the images he's playing out in his mind, the essence of submission would be present throughout them. I'm _very_ curious to know if I'm right. One quick question to my assistant over the phone about my schedule would've made this meeting unnecessary, but now I'm so glad I came. Three minutes of interacting with him face to face and I'm willing to adjust that schedule… a little.

"It is. But tell me, are you free tonight Mr. Grey? There's actually something I'd like to discuss with you." He stares at me contemplatively for several moments. He must be trying to read if this request of mine is one of business or pleasure. Either way, I suppose he's okay with it because he doesn't ask.

"I am… Mile High, 8 pm. Mr. Sawyer can take you anywhere you need to go until then."

"Thank you, that's very kind" We both stand to leave and as I make my way to the elevator, he follows along behind me. As soon as I push the call button, the door opens so I step in and turn to face him.

"It was nice meeting you. I'll see you at eight," I say, trying to break our silence. But he's staring again, and this time he looks almost scared. I smile back at him and laugh to myself inside.

_Don't be afraid Mr. Grey. I'm _not going to hurt_ you._

"Anastasia" he says with a slight nod as the door begins to close.

"Christian."

* * *

Once I'm back in the Audi, I ask Sawyer to drive me to Bloomingdales. I have time to kill and I don't feel like wearing the white silk button down and black slacks I wore to the meeting. When we arrive, Sawyer follows me in without a word, but I don't fight him on it.

_He must be security because he certainly isn't good company. _

For about twenty minutes, I stroll around looking for a new 'little black dress' but the one that finally calls to me is plum. It'll still work well with the black heels and beige trench coat I'm wearing so I purchase it and head back to the car. I then ask Sawyer to take me to a hotel near the restaurant and for him to please let the pilot at SeaTac know that I won't be leaving tonight. I'm not making plans to spend the night with Christian, but I am creating enough time for me to have a proper conversation. If he's totally naive to the topic, it could take some time for me to explain why I'm approaching him with this. But I _know_ he would be a natural, so if it's something he would like to explore, I'd be more than happy to be the one to show him.

At the hotel, I relax for a bit and then get myself ready for dinner. I love the dress but I probably should've tried it on. It's very form fitting and making quite a display of my chest. It's not helping my claim that for tonight, I'm only interested in talking to him. I stand and turn in the mirror, wondering if I should change, but I'm interrupted when the room phone rings. It's the reception desk telling me my driver is waiting. The dress will have to do so I grab my coat and head down to the lobby.

_Mmm... Here goes the lamb into the lion's den…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

CPOV

This day could not have gone by any slower. Since the moment Anastasia left my office today, she's been my one singular thought. She was so much more alluring in person. Just watching her walk to the conference room on the CCTV in Taylor's office, I felt the beginnings of an erection, enough so that I had to hide it in my fucking waistband like a teenager while I made it back to my office. Just as I'd expected, I wasn't going to be able to handle myself around her. I buzzed Andrea and told her that I wouldn't be attending the meeting and to quickly send in someone who at least knew something about film. So she sends in some fucking intern I've never even seen and before I know it Andrea is buzzing me back telling me "my presence is strongly being requested by Ms. Steele and that I am, quote, wasting her fucking time" I know for certain, Andrea took all too much joy in relaying that one. Luckily for her, she explained that her seemingly ignorant choice actually went to film school.

Instead of letting her leave, I decided I should at least try to get through the meeting. I took a moment to compose myself and then told Andrea to send her in. When she walked through my door, she looked so stunningly beautiful, it took everything I had to keep down the erection I'd just gotten rid of. But when she spoke to me, those lips, fuck, I knew it was a lost cause. I needed to get myself safely hidden behind the desk before earning a sexual harassment claim so I cut our introduction short and took a seat. Once hidden, I was able to really take in her extraordinary beauty. My thoughts raced as I looked over her perfect features and tall but petite frame. In my mind, I must've undressed her and pinned her against the office wall 20 different ways in the 3 minuets she was in my office.

_Fuck, I've never wanted someone like this._

But there's more to her. Something different. She wasn't intimidated by me, not even for a second. And she's perceptive as hell. She noticed everything I did. I tried to discreetly readjust myself while we talked but I know she saw me. In fact, I feel like she saw right through me entirely. She looked at me like she knew something I didn't… That doesn't happen to me.

I wish I could say I was disappointed over losing her for the project but I'm not. In fact, I find a good deal of comfort in the fact that I didn't decide it. Right now however, I'm curious to know what this dinner is about. I had to think carefully before agreeing to it. If she'd wanted to talk business, I wasn't sure I could manage to behave entirely. But in the end, I figured if she did, she was already in a private meeting with me. She shouldn't have needed dinner to talk business. At least that's what I'm hoping for. But if I'm honest, I can't read her as easily as I can most people. Usually it's so obvious when a woman is throwing herself at me. I want her so badly but I need to at least be prepared that that isn't what's happening here. Regardless, I want to be around her again. I want to know more about her.

I walk into Mile High and Sawyer is there, telling me that Ms. Steele was just seated. I quickly head to her table while trying to politely shrug off all the greetings and ass kissing from staff and guests.

"Mr. Grey." She stands and offers me her hand to shake but instead, I raise it to my lips.

"You look amazing, Ms. Steele," which is a very watered down version of the truth. She _looks_ sexy as fucking hell. There's no question, that dress is not meant for business. It's all I can do to remain civil, to not simply throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to have way with her. Thankfully she decides to sit and as I join her, I feel somewhat assured that I can refrain… for now.

"Thank you, as do you. You seem to know several people here. Do you come here often?"

"No, I own the place. Shall I get you a drink?" Me owning this place pertains to business. I'm not going to linger on that topic.

"Pinot noir please." She grins slightly, seemingly pleased to let me take the lead.

A slight nod to the waiter and he's almost immediately at the table.

"A bottle of the Domaine de la Romanée-Conti." He nods with understanding and hurries away as quickly has he came. "So tell me Ms. Steele, what did you want to discuss?"

"Well, I suppose I have somewhat of a personal project of my own." She takes a deep breath and with her knowing grin she reaches for an envelope beside her and passes it across the table. "But I feel we should each sign an NDA before we get into it."

"And why is that?" I ask incredulously. Damn, I realize, this really is about business,.

"Because I highly doubt you'll speak freely with me regarding this topic if we don't. Also I want you to know that whatever questions I ask, the answers you give me are for me alone and no other gain will be had from them." She has my mind spinning. What in the hell does she plan to ask me? I open the envelope and begin to scan the documents.

"Please take your time reading it, though I believe you'll find it's all very standard and clear."

I agree, it's pretty standard, except it seems to be constructed for personal use but nothing I won't sign. She's already signed both so once I'm finished, I hand her the second copy and gesture her to please feel free to begin. Just then, the waiter shows up with the bottle of wine and while he goes through the parade of uncorking and pouring she asks,

"Mr. Grey, to what do you owe your success?" Is she kidding me with that shit question?

"Is that really what you want to ask?"

"Humor me." So I play along and give her my standard, but still true, answer.

"I've always been good at people. I have a natural instinct for knowing what makes a person tick." At this, she smiles as if she knew the right answer and I guessed correctly.

"Would you say you enjoy control?" Okay, more interesting. I'll bite.

"I exercise control in all things Ms. Steele." When I say this, she bites her bottom lip and stares at me like she just struck gold. After a few moments of her sultry stare, she continues her questioning.

"Really? All things? Do you have any interests outside of work?" She's getting at something specific and I want to know what.

"This feels like an interview."

"It is, in a way."

"What about you? I'd like to know more about you." Maybe this will get us around to the point…

"I'm very attracted to you Christian. I believe you're attracted to me as well."

_Oh thank fuck!_

"I am, yes."

_More than you know. Much more._

"Good. Tell me, what sort of things do you like to do during sex?"

"Excuse me?" Ms. Steele is obviously no shy kitten but I still wouldn't expect such candid sexual conversation from her. She sighs and shakes her head slightly. She may be blunt but she's still having a hard time getting out what she's trying to say.

"I'd like to pursuit… an arrangement with you. Are you familiar with BDSM?

"Leather and whips?" I feel I would normally respond better than this but I'm absolutely shocked stupid. This is the very last fucking topic of conversation I would've guessed I was signing that NDA for.

_Oh Ms. Steele… there _is_ something different about you…_

"If one prefers, yes, but there's worlds more to it than that. I'm mostly interested in the Dominant/submissive part of it." She pauses for a moment. "You're a very dominant man Christian." I take a beat to collect myself, figure out just where in the hell all this is going.

_Does she want me to dominate her?_

With the thought, I realize my dick it so hard it hurts. But this can't be right…

"You're not a very submissive woman Anastasia."

"No, not in the daylight," she almost giggles, "but I assure you, I _am_ a submissive. And I think you would be an amazing Dom. That is, if it's something that interests you of course."

"Let me make sure I understand. You want me to role play with you?"

"It's not role playing to me. There's no pretending about it. I, am a sexually submissive woman who feels safer and cums harder in the hands of a dominant male. You, Christian, find comfort in control. I imagine you could find pleasure in it as well." At this point, I'm so turned on, my heart is racing but there's no blood making it to my brain. I steady my gaze on hers and try desperately not to take her right now on this table in front of everyone.

"Don't get me wrong Anastasia, I want you terribly, but I don't know how all of this would work." She smiles a beautiful and salacious smile and reaches across the table to touch my hand.

"Don't worry, I can show you how…"


	5. Chapter 5

APOV

So far, I think Christian is taking this pretty well. He seems open-mined and intrigued by the idea. Actually, from where I sit, he looks pretty turned on by the idea, and honestly so am I.

_Mmm, yes I _can_ see your erection Mr. Grey, despite your efforts to conceal it._

As I had guessed, he's already quite familiar with being in control so it really isn't a surprise that he's interested in my offer. I just need him to understand what it is we're talking about. This lifestyle is so very intricate and most people only know the surface, if that even. Because what we do can be truly dangerous, he'll have to be willing to take the time to learn how to go about it correctly. Although, the way he's looking at me right now, I could probably guess his answer, but never the less, I should be clear with him. I pull my hand back from his, trying to refocus myself on the discussion and not on the things I imagine him doing to me with those hands.

"I want you to think about it first before you agree to anything. It can be quite a responsibility so you need to be sure it's something you really want to explore." He looks at me curiously.

"I was under the impression you're here only for tonight, am I correct?"

"Yes, that's correct. You we're hoping to get this done and over in one night?" I grin salaciously at him. He really has no idea how much he would be missing if we were to do this his way. He takes a long moment to consider before he answers.

"Anastasia, I think you should know, I don't do relationships, or emotions" his look now one of concern.

"It's not an invitation for a relationship, it's an arrangement. And the only thing I will need you to feel is trust." He leans back and with his elbows on the chair, he steeples his fingers over his lips.

"That, I will have to think about." After some time, he takes a sip of his wine and continues. "I've tried casual. Feelings inevitably develop, it happens every time."

I guess I'm not surprised he has this concern. It can seem odd that you could be involved with some one in this very intimate way and not eventually feel something for them. And it's true, in most normal situations, I think feelings would eventually develop. But ours is such a delicate and unique dance. We get so much from our interaction that maybe we're already fulfilled. We don't need more. At least that's been my experience. Six years with Jax and though I care deeply for him as a friend, his Dominance was all I ever wanted, or needed. I was complete.

"Christian look around, you control everything else in your life. The control I'm offering you here would be extremely satisfying for both of us… and pleasurable… and intense. I understand your reservations but I assure you, this is the only way I do things, and it has nothing to do with romance. I'm not looking for love, I'm looking for a Dominant." With this statement, he relaxes, though only slightly. I think he genuinely wants to accept but I'm not going to push him any farther. He has to want this on his own. It won't work if he's doing it just to be with me.

"You don't need to know tonight. Think it over and if you're still interested, contact me with any questions you might have. You can ask me anything, no boundaries. But for now let's just enjoy dinner, yes?" He sighs and leans toward the table again. The look on his face is lustful but also showing slight disappointment.

"I must admit, I'm finding it hard to accept that I won't be having you tonight. I'm used to getting my own way." I can't help but giggle at him. He really must not understand what I'm offering him. If all he can think about is tonight, then he's much more short-sighted than I'd imagined.

_Or he just wants me as desperately as I'm wanting him right now._

"Christian, if I were your submissive, you could have me anytime and anywhere you want me. You would _always_ get your way. And because it would please you, I would be happy to be giving it to you. Fundamentally, that's what the arrangement is. An exchange of power. You take the lead and the responsibility of being in control. You take from me in any way you desire and I willingly give myself to you. It's about me giving you your way in any way that I can" I know even still, this narrative is a gross simplification of a D/s bond but you can't explain every intricate facet to someone in one conversation. Though, he does need to understand at least some of the picture. I don't want him leaving here tonight thinking that what I'm offering is a few kinky nights with a bunch of spanking and sex toys. I mean, I suppose I am, but I'm also offering much much more.

_Mmmm, I want to see what this man can do. I know he's going to be so good at this. Too good._

"So you allow me total control and the satisfaction you get is only in pleasing me? I can't say that I understand that. It seems rather one-sided." I want to believe that he's honestly curious but I fear that he's still digging at the emotions issue. Maybe he thinks there's just no way that this could be fulfilling for me. And really, I'm not sure anything I could say would be as convincing as seeing and experiencing it for oneself.

"I mentioned that you would have to trust me, and I think that's becoming relevant now. I need you to trust me when I tell you that it isn't one-sided at all. And I need you to trust that for you to fully understand what I mean, you will have to see it for yourself. And I do believe Mr. Grey, that if you agree to accept my offer of submission, you _will see_ just how much pleasure I truly get from it," I explain and his eyes smolder at me in a way that tells me he does believe me and he would, indeed, like to see for himself.

We finish dinner without much more discussion on the subject. Instead, I stick mostly to light questions about his hobbies, family, or growing up. He reveals a little but only the bare minimum. He seems rather guarded on anything concerning his past or personal life so I concede to talking about myself. I tell him that I grew up in Montecito with my stepfather Ray, that I went to film school at USC, and that I love cooking but hate cleaning up. We also talk a little about my career and the projects I'll be working on next. With this, I try to be overtly open so that he can see why, even though I truly wanted to be involved, I had to decline his documentary proposal.

Once we're done with our dinner and wine, we head out into the foggy city night, along with Sawyer and another security officer trailing behind. I have only one block to walk to my hotel so I attempt the say goodnight and thank him for dinner but Christian insists on escorting me. I normally wouldn't resist a polite gesture but I already know better than to trust my self control around this man. He has the power to have me any way he pleases with only a few words, and after tonight's telling discussion, he's aware of that as well. I know we both feel the intense energy between us, but I also know we should wait until things are more worked out before we get involved physically. I just hope he agrees.

As we walk our short distance, he takes my hand in his. I feel myself getting more and more concerned about the direction of the evening as he continues to hold my hand while we enter the hotel and even as we wait by the elevator. I can't be sure if he will let it go when the door opens or not. I can feel myself practically panting when we hear the ding and the doors slowly open. I begin to walk forward before he does and surprisingly he lets our hands fall apart as I enter and turn to face him. I punch in the code for the penthouse and just as I think I'm safe and open my mouth to say goodnight, he starts stalking toward me, determined and hungry. In an instant, his strong hands are holding my face and his lips are on mine. He pulls back only slightly to reach for my wrists before he presses against me again, this time catching my open mouth, of which he takes full advantage. He lifts my hands above us and presses his hips into mine, showing me how ready his body is for me. As his full lips pull at mine, I begin to kiss him back desperately. It's more intense than I ever could've imagined. His kiss is perfect, his touch and pressure just rough enough. I moan into his mouth and begin to lose myself entirely when the door dings again and we arrive at my floor. Christian stops but doesn't let go of me. Instead, he presses his forehead to mine and strokes his thumb across my wet and swollen bottom lip while looking into me with his stormy grey eyes.

"I want more of you, Anastasia. You'll be hearing from me soon." He steps back enough to let me get past him so I steady my breathing and start to walk. I don't want to leave him, he feels almost magnetic, but I know I have to. Once I'm out of the elevator, with a shy smile, I turn for one more look.

"Goodnight Christian."

"Goodnight," he says through his lustful stare, and then he's gone.

CPOV

It's been three days since she left and I'm still consumed with thoughts of her. Each night, I've come home to my empty apartment and immediately headed to my bedroom to relieve my hunger, over and over and over. It seems like every time I finish, I get a flash of something she said or I think up some licentious, and now possibly obtainable, fantasy and then find myself hard again. It's truly a never-ending need and no matter how many times I pleasure myself, I'm just not sated. She's right about my propensity for control, and the longer my mind delves into thoughts of Dominating Anastasia sexually, the more I become fixated on all the things I want to do. I already wanted her like I've never wanted anything before. Now, I feel like a starved animal who will do anything to get the kill. I can't stop thinking of her telling me I could have her any way I wanted and I plan to make good on that offer.

Beyond the sex, in between orgasms when I can somewhat clear my mind, I've thought a great deal about the arrangement that Anastasia proposed at dinner. I almost certainly know I'll agree to what she's asking of me but I still need to know quite a good deal more about what's involved. From what she explained, she's more interested in the Dominant/submissive interaction but I'm not entirely clear what being a Dominant actually entails. I know for damn sure the concept of completely controlling our sex is oh so enticing but I'm concerned about what else she's used to engaging in. I don't live under a rock nor am I anywhere near a prude so I'm at least vaguely familiar with BDSM. And I know it usually involves the infliction of pain in some way. I've never hit a woman and I'm not sure I could, even if she was asking me to. Though I suppose a little ass spanking and hair pulling is well within my capabilities.

_Oh fuck, spanking that girl's beautiful ass… would be heaven_.

And I find my dick beginning to harden again. I would ignore it if I could, because I'm getting pretty sore at this point, but my sex drive is running like a jet fucking engine. I can't help but recall our kiss in the elevator. Those lips I'd been dreaming of felt and tasted better than I could've ever fucking imagined. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, to pull away from her and let the evening end. I wanted her so fucking badly but I knew I should wait this one out, that it would be worth it if I did. As I'm now full on stroking my length, _again_, I think I would've just taken her if I knew I'd be left like this, disgustingly horny and jacking off non-stop.

As I continue my stroking, in long slow motions, I run through images of spanking her and feeling those perfect lips all over my dick. I want to watch her suck me while looking at me with those striking eyes and ravenous stare. I want to watch her taste herself on my fingers while I show her how wet she's gotten for me. And that vision is all it takes, as I cum hard into my hand and on my stomach, unconcerned about making a mess, just needing the release.

The problem is, as I'm now realizing, is this perpetual desire is actually a mental need, and one that all the physical stimulation in the world won't help. I need to play this out with her, to feel what the word Dominant means. But for now, I need my dick to relax and catch up to what my brain seems to have figured out. Another orgasm isn't the answer.

Even though I've _literally_ drained myself, I'm still not able to sleep, so like every other night, I'm in my office working into the early morning hours. Because it's so late, I don't expect it but I get an email from Anastasia with her cell number and a short message. My heart begins to race. She has so far astounded me at every turn and I'm almost afraid to know what she has to say now.

"Christian, I thought you may need this. Please call anytime. Research things if you must but please be careful not to focus too much on the violence. There's so much more to it and I would prefer to explain the intricacies to you myself. If you're curious, just remember, you can ask me anything, -Ana"

Luckily the email is somewhat subtle. All my mail is prescreened by Welch and though I don't give a fuck what people think of me or what I do in the bedroom, I'd rather communicate with Anastasia in private. Especially regarding what I may do in the bedroom with her. She feels like a rare gem, something to covet and protect and keep for yourself, which is odd. I feel that way about almost nothing in my life. Only my family I suppose. I cherish them greatly and would do anything to protect them. Feeling that way about Anastasia is something I'll have to work out. After all, I don't fucking do emotions…

She keeps telling me that I can ask her anything. I wonder if she thinks I'm too shy to speak frankly about sex. I have plenty of questions to ask but I'd rather do it in person, which means, I need to see her again soon. I think I should arrange for her to come here this weekend. She was here Tuesday and it's now early Saturday morning. Unless I can get her here today, I'd have to wait another week and that's way too long. Hopefully she's free today. When she spoke to me about her schedule, she said that she'll be writing for the next 2 months, but since she could do that from here, maybe I could convince her to come. She just sent me this email a few minutes ago so I decide to pick up the phone and dial the number she gave.

"Yeah?" She answers with a comfort and familiarity that gives me the sense she expected someone else.

"Anastasia?"

"Yes…" With her questioning response, my suspicion is confirmed. Who the fuck else did she just email?

"Ana, it's Christian."

"Oh, Christian! Hi, how are you?" At least she sounds happy it's me…

"I'm doing well, thank you. Listen, can you talk right now?"

"Sure, I'm alone at home. Feel free." I can hear her smiling through the phone.

_I would fucking hope she's alone._

"I'd like to see you again. And I'd like for you to come to Seattle, in the morning if you're free."

"So I take it you've thought about my offer?"

_Oh Ms. Steele, if you only knew how much I've been thinking of you and this offer…_

"Yes of course. I haven't stopped thinking about it actually. And I need to see you so that we can discuss in further."

"That's very nice to hear. But, umm, how about you come to LA. I have better accommodations to train you."

"Train me?" I ask with a disbelieving tone.

_What the fuck is she talking about?_

I understand I have a few things to learn but I don't take well to the idea of being 'trained' like an animal. Even though all of this does make me feel rather animalistic.

"I know Christian, I'm going to have to top from the bottom for a while, but not for too long I don't think." She says with a slight giggle.

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean."

"I know but you will, and more importantly, you will like it. So really, I think you should come to LA. We'll discuss anything you like and as long as our negotiations go well, we can begin."

"So you will have time to for us then?"

_Us? Am I fucking kidding with that word?_

"Yes certainly! If things go well, it'll be my greatest pleasure to make time for you, Christian." I rather enjoy hearing her sexy voice utter my name.

"Good. Then I'll ready the jet and book a room."

"No you will not book a room! You'll stay with me. I know we haven't agreed to anything but either way you'd have a private room at my place." I appreciate her hospitably but I'm booking a room anyway. I don't like being at the mercy of others. Without allowing a response, she continues, "So are you sure you don't have any questions before you come?" Don't fret Ms. Steele. I can take whatever it is you're afraid will scare me off. I may not agree to whatever it is but I won't be running for the hills. Especially not without feeling myself inside you at least once.

"No. I think I'd rather discuss things in person, if you don't mind."

"No that's great… better actually. I'm excited to see you again, Christian."

* * *

APOV

He's at my door by 10 am looking as assertive and handsome as ever, an impressive feat considering I was on the phone with him in Seattle at 2 am this morning. Speaking of, I hope it wasn't too obvious that I was expecting Jax on the other end when my phone rang. I'd just been texting him about the prospect of a sub training a completely inexperienced Dominant. It's really not a common way to go about things so I wanted to know what his thoughts were. He's yet to respond to my text but either way, I'm still going through with this. I have to have Christian and I know he can do this. As long as he still _wants_ to do this, after all is said and done.

"Christian, welcome. Please come in."

"Ms. Steele," he greets me with a nod, "Thank you. You look beautiful," he says with a lingering kiss to my cheek, a little to close to my ear to be considered friendly. I feel my cheeks flush and the air leave my lungs. Quickly, I remember just how strong the chemistry is between us and realize I need to get the logistics over sooner rather than later. He doesn't seem to have brought any luggage so I may as well just get started now.

"Follow me to my office," I instruct and begin to head down the hall. "I have a copy of a standard agreement for D/s arrangements."

"You don't waste any time, I see," he says from behind me. I sense he's pleased to know he's not the only one wanting to just skip the damn race and cross the finish line already. Once we've arrived in the office, I turn to face him and hand over the agreement.

"No, I don't see the point in that. We'd only be prolonging the inevitable I think," I say with a heated grin. He returns the sentiment fully and I almost worry he's about to say 'fuck the paperwork,' and have his way with me right this moment. But he doesn't. Instead, he tears his eyes from mine and begins to read over the agreement. I wait for a reaction, any reaction at all that'll give me some idea as to what he might be thinking, but I get nothing. It makes me quite nervous because these arrangements are written out in explicit language and great detail. I can't imagine he came here expecting me to hand him a document stating that I will not fuck animals, children, or play in human waste. I know I almost died of shock the first time I read through one of these. I guess one sort of assumes that all those extreme things listed don't need to be said, that they're obviously too twisted and appalling that no one would ever want that... but some do.

"So this is negotiable you say?" Okay, he's still standing here. That's a good sign. But I wonder what he's thinking he'll need to negotiate.

"Yes, of course, to some extent. There're some aspects that are vital to the nature of the interaction but most of it can be modified to suit the individuals."

"Then I assume it will be perfectly fine. Did you want to address the issues now?" Fuck, he's planning to try this! Now I just need to show him the red room. After that, there should be little more I could do to put him off as long as I just take my training of him very slowly.

"No, not now. I don't think you've been given enough information to even make some of these decisions yet. In fact, it may take us a few weeks or more before we're able to finalize anything. I really want this to work Christian so I'm going to try and do things right. I want you to come to know the beauty of this kind of bond and that'll take time and patience." He just looks at me and though it's impassive, nothing about his expression says that he's gonna run. So I decide to just keep moving forward.

"Okay well, let's see the playroom then." Without hesitation, I head out to the hall and towards the red room. I nervously fidget with the key in my pocket the entire time we walk. I pause briefly before opening the door to give him one last assurance.

"Before we go in, I just want you to know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I wouldn't dream of it Anastasia, now open the door," he demands. So I do.

_Just please don't freak. You can handle this Grey, if you just trust me_.

As I open the door, I wait silently for him to take it all in. And I keep waiting… and waiting. Until he finally utters,

"Fuck…"


	6. Chapter 6

CPOV

This room is… fucking serious. She is fucking _serious_ about this. Even though I had no reason to doubt it before, I'm only beginning to understand the reality of the situation right now in this moment. Certain things, no matter how many times you've pictured it or thought you would understand how you would feel, the real thing is beyond expectations, possibly even comprehension.

As I begin a slow walking tour of the room, I notice its decadence, with deep red plush walls and fine leather and wood surfaces. There's an oversized four poster bed and a few odd shaped benches. There's an intricate metal grid mounted to the ceiling that looks like it's used to hang things from. I run my fingers over the various accoutrements that have been displayed throughout the room with reverence. It's obvious that a great deal of not only money and energy, but also passion were used to create this space. It inspires a perfect balance of fear, power, and dignity.

I look to Anastasia and she appears nervous. I wonder if I'm also looking just as nervous. That's how I feel at the moment, looking around and realizing what Ana obviously _does_ want me to do to her. I want to say something to easy her mind but I honestly don't know if I can do this… So instead she speaks first.

"Don't get too freaked about all this in here. It's not as bad as you might be thinking. I know it may look like a lot of pain, but it's mostly about pleasure, I promise you."

"Do you like pain? Is it necessary for you?" To me, that's the critical issue here. Do I have to hurt her to do this with her?

"That's a very complicated question, Christian, and I'm not sure I could explain it in any decent way just yet. I didn't want to overwhelm you but you needed to see the room. That way, you're going into this with your eyes open."

"I believe my eyes would be more open if you could answer my question." She looks away and sighs, then begins to also slowly walk the room, though not towards me. Without returning her eyes to mine, she responds.

"The thing is, how far we take this aspect will inevitably be your decision. But simply stated, yes I do enjoy the pain and yes, some degree of it is necessary, not just for me, but for this type of arrangement."

"I see," I respond distantly. She says it's up to me but if she likes pain, what if I were to decide not to include pain at all? Will she be left unfulfilled?

"You don't have to know all your limits right now, Christian. That'll come with time. Let's walk before we run, huh?" I look up as she begins heading out of the room, not wanting a response from me it seems.

_Ms. Steele, I'm still here and I plan to remain here. I'm not sure if I can be everything you want me to be, but I know I can be something_.

I hear Ana call my name so I take a last look around and follow her voice. I find her in the office again and she's waiting for me with another piece of paper.

"These are my medical records. As you'll see, they're from 2 weeks ago and I've not been with anyone in 6 months. If you have recent records and no unprotected contact for 3 months, then just have them sent and we can forgo the condoms. As for birth control, I have an IUD so that won't be an issue."

Strangely, I'm a little shaken by this very 'strictly business' approach. But why should I be? That's exactly why I agreed to this, isn't it?

"I have recent records, yes. As for unprotected contact, that hasn't happened in years. I'll have them sent over now, just give me one moment." I email Welch and ask him to access my medical file, and for discretion's sake, I ask him to send over all recent blood work from the past 2 years. He's still going to find this request very odd but he knows better than to ask questions.

"Would you like to see the rest of the house while we wait?" Ana asks only just politely. I don't think she liked my reaction to the playroom. I hope it's just concern, instead of disappointment.

"Yes, that would be fine."

We begin to walk from room to room, and I realize that Ana must have done very well for herself with her career. I could see the place was quite large when I first arrived but the closer I look, the more I notice a wealth of unique details. Because of the vaulted ceilings and the entire back of the house being made of glass, there's a breathtaking view of the ocean. And the interior has been done is a such a way that it almost feels as if it's outside. All the surfaces are natural wood or stone, seemingly unrefined. The colors are all relatively dark, the hardwood being mahogany and the stone all different variations of grays and blacks, but the glass allows for enough light so that's it's not constricting. Also, there're plants and large potted trees throughout that make the space feel alive. It feels very luxurious but in a way I'm not used to. Oddly though, I realize that this house is remarkably similar to Ana, with her mahogany hair and pure and natural beauty, and her eyes being that breathtaking blue like the ocean. But most of all, it's that sense of life and vitality. Just then, I'm unfortunately pulled out of my reverie as she shows me to a bedroom.

"Our arrangement will be long distance and that makes things a bit harder. You're welcome here as long as you'd like but I imagine with your business, we'd mostly only have weekends together. But, if you ever feel you'd like to stay for longer, this can be your own private room. Of course, it'll be up to you if we share a bed but when the arrangement isn't romantic, sometimes it's better to keep our own separate rooms." She's interrupted by my phone as I get the email from Welch with my records so I hand it over to Ana.

"Will this do or would you like something more official?" She smiles and I hope this means she's forgiven her disappointment from before.

"No, that's perfectly fine. We always try your best to be safe, but at some point, you have to trust the other person. Now, if you have no other pressing concerns before we begin, then I believe the logistics are handled Mr. Grey." She has that lustful look back in her eyes and I'm so relieved. I need to experience her at least once before she sends me away for not being able to whip and beat her the way she needs.

"No, I have none, Ms. Steele."

"Great…" she says, trying hard to contain her eagerness. "So essentially, I'm going to teach you how to take from me and create what you want to see and experience. I want you to use me as your muse to more deeply explore your sexual desires. Imagine you've been given a toy that is only yours. So you alone get to experience all the joy it has to offer, but you also have the sole responsibility of caring for it. It will be up to you to make sure your sub is okay at all times. I'm going to submit my power to you and trust that you won't abuse it, to honor my limits. And I'll also trust you not to let me fall too far. You'll understand that last part more as we go."

She takes off walking out of the room again but continues talking. To me, all this walking away is a tell-tale sign she's nervous. I already knew that really but it comforts me to know she wants this enough to be nervous. "Doing this well takes the ability to read a person, a skill you already admit to having. You should watch me closely for signs of both arousal and impending exhaustion. When you're able to read these things in your sub, then the path you take us down is more pleasurable and rewarding for both of us. But don't focus too much on that right now. Today, were going to take it slow and simple. I'm gonna ask you to make a few decisions to get us started then I'll turn the power over to you." She stops and turns to me once we reach the great room."As for the first thing I want you to decide upon, tell me what room of this house, besides the playroom, would you like to fuck me in today?" My dick twinges and my mind begins to race.

"This room will do just fine, I believe." I don't care where right now. I just care about when.

"Good. Now have a seat here. Can I get you a drink?

"Bourbon." I respond and she looks pleased as she makes her way over to the elegant wet bar and caters to my request. I watch her closely from the couch, captivated by her every move. After she hands me the drink, she walks out in front of me to the center of the room and then faces me.

"Now, if you were to walk into this room, how would you most enjoy seeing me? Completely naked? In only panties that you've selected for me? And what position would you like me to wait for you in? Maybe kneeling with my head bowed and my legs open wide? Or maybe on my knees with my ass in the air and my pussy on full display for you. Tell me, how do you want me?" My dick is growing ever more hard as her beautiful mouth utters these explicit words. I readjust myself on the couch.

"On your knees in nothing but panties." As soon as I answer, she grins shyly and begins to slowly undress herself. Item by item, I see more of her delicious form being revealed. And what feels like an eternity later, she stands in only her underwear, and undoes her bra, slowly revealing her breasts to me. I growl audibly. They're perfect, full and round with small upturned nipples.

_She's so fucking perfect!_

"Last thing, how would you like me to address you?"

"Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, if you like, or Sir, or maybe someday, Master."

"Which do you prefer?" I can't fucking answer questions right now...

"I prefer to please you. Do you see? Take advantage of the gift I'm giving you."

"Call me Sir."

"Yes Sir." She smiles again. "Well then... You should know, my body is new to you so take your time and explore. No area of me is off limits to you. And unlike the vanilla world, there's no rush here. I'm at your disposal for any amount of time you see fit."

She then lowers herself to her knees and sits back on them, as she opens her legs wide, she lowers her eyes and lays her hands on top of her thighs, palms down. She is a perfect fucking vision of physical beauty.

"Okay, now the rest is up to you Sir."

* * *

CPOV

She sits still and quiet with her eyes on the floor. After a few moments, I realize she's going to remain this way until I tell her otherwise. Suddenly, I feel myself overcome with humility and gratitude that this beautiful woman is naked and on her knees, offering herself to me. I can also feel the simple and instinctual duality of our desires, to control and be controlled. I believe Ana felt this between us the moment we met, and now, I feel it too.

"I want you to come stand in front of me." My heart is pounding against my chest but I try to speak smoothly. She ever so gracefully rises and walks towards me.

"Now, slowly take off your panties and kneel again." Her expression reveals a hint of a smile as she glides her thumbs down the sides of her hips until they reach the white lacy fabric. She begins to lower them and I feel my need becoming uncontrollable. As soon as her panties begin to uncover her, she's already bending over to step out them, and then on her way to her knees, denying me a view of her sweet center. A part of me is relieved, as my composure is slipping all too quickly. She's now completely naked so I take a moment to let my gaze linger over her flawless pale skin and truly seductive form. Her long silky hair is in front of her shoulder on one side, highlighting the stark contrast of mahogany and porcelain. I can't recall ever seeing a woman this beautiful. I don't know if one even exists. I set my drink down on the side table and lean forward to touch her. After a soft stroke across her jaw and lower lip, I firmly palm her breasts from the side as I use my thumbs to gently circle her beautiful faintly brown nipples. They quickly harden under my touch and I can't resist having them in my mouth. I lean forward more and softly lick the firm tips several times. She tastes so delicious but I need more.

"Stand up and turn around. I want you to kneel on top of the coffee table with your head down and your hips up." I find myself easily expressing my wants, something I get daily practice at with work, though with very different commands. She eagerly follows my instructions and as her head lowers and back arches, I get my first real glimpse of her beautiful pussy. Her small delicate folds are blushing with desire. I reach up with my second finger and with a slight come hither motion between her lips, I'm rewarded with a glistening strand of her wetness clinging to my finger.

"You're very wet Anastasia."

"Yes Sir."

I reach out and grab her hips roughly. She gasps slightly and with a wide flat tongue, I lick her from clit to ass, several times until her amazing taste begins to lessen. I then curl my tongue up to reach inside her for more of her sweet homage to desire, inhaling deeply as I go. I do this until I literally feel I'm going to explode. I wanted to take my time but the sight, taste, and smell of her beautiful body are too delectable. I have to be inside of her now. I've never fucking wanted anything in my life like I want this right now.

"Get up," I demand. "Walk over there and stand with your back against the wall" I say as I point towards the glass. She hastily follows my commands, silent but panting heavily. Once she's against the wall, I walk to her and kiss her deeply while wrapping her arms over my shoulders. Our tongues explore each other passionately while I undo my jeans and lower them just enough to free myself. I then reach down and grab under both sides of her ass, lifting her up and around my hips.

"Look at me Ana. I'm going to fuck you now… you fucking beautiful girl," I say to her in a hushed lustful growl.

"Yes Sir, please." she says, through reddened lips and pink cheeks. Her breathing is heavy and her eyes are almost glassy. I press my weight against her enough to release one hand and position myself at her opening. Once I feel her heat and wetness on my tip, I grab her ass again and slam into her. Her eyes close, her back arches, and with a deep gasp, her breathing stops. I know how wet she was for me but I pause to give time to adjust to my significant size. She finally moans and her pussy tightens around me, urging me to continue. I gently pull back and slowly slide back inside her, causing her to pulse around me again. I continue my slow thrusts, and within moments she's writhing and moaning as quietly as she can manage. I can feel her wetness running down my inner thigh and I know she's going to cum soon. I'm so glad because I only have a few strained moments left before my body gives into her warm rhythmic clenching.

"May I cum please, Sir?" She barely gets out between ragged breaths.

"What? Yes, cum Anastasia, Cum!" I urge as I pick up my pace and grab her chin firmly. "Look at me, cum for me…" My orgasm is just barely being contained. "Cum for me Anastasia!" Her beautiful eyes flutter open and I feel her entire body tense and breaths quickening. She pulls one corner of her bottom lip under her teeth, and with her eyes fixed on mine, she lets go and I watch pure pleasure spread over her. Her sweet moans and pulsing climax around my dick send me over the edge instantly. I spill into her with a force I didn't know was possible. I cum for what feels like hours, wave after wave, as I rest my head on the groove of her neck and listen to her soft moans in my ear.

My mind finally returns to my body and I let Ana slide down to stand. I move back a half step and look down at her. Her chest and neck are flushed and her nipples are rock hard. She has a light sheen of sweat all over her body and my cum running down her leg. I've never taken the time to revel in the look of a woman who just came for me. It is a breathtaking view. Words do not describe.

"Ana," I whisper as I reach up and gently stroke her cheek again.

"Yes Sir?" she replies in a sweet voice that drips with satisfaction. I didn't actually have anything to say, I was only musing to myself about the profound experience I just shared with her.

"That was…"

"I know, Sir. I knew you would feel this way. I'm happy I pleased you," she says with her eyes still looking down to the floor.

"I want you to look at me. I'm more than pleased, Anastasia." She smiles that sweet shy smile and I see her already pink cheeks flush further.

"Can I do anything else for you Sir" I'm not ready to let her go but I feel I need a bit to analyze what just happened. I wasn't prepared to feel the way I did, to connect with her the way I did. I shake my head slightly as I begin buttoning my jeans, all the while, she watches me closely.

"Then I assume you're done with the scene, Sir?" I haven't a clue what that means and she immediately notices my confusion. "Meaning, you're satisfied for the time being and I'm free to go."

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly but yes, you can go I suppose. Where are you going?

"Just to take a shower. That way I'll be clean for you later Sir." she says with a devious smirk.

"Then you better go now." She bites her lip and then turns to walk away. She's still completely nude so I bask in the sight of her amazing ass as she gracefully walks down the hall and out of view.

I take a deep breath and sink onto the sofa. I honestly feel the slightest bit odd that she just walked away after that. Again, I must remind myself that this will be conducted more like a business arrangement than a personal one. For the life of me though, I don't know why I keep forgetting. I'm quite sure that I've always wished the women I fuck would walk away like that, they just never have until now.

I reach for my previously abandoned bourbon and stand up to look outside. I feel I really need to better understand my role in this situation. Ana seems to be going by a set of rules that I'm not privy to. I don't understand her not looking me in the eyes the whole time and I don't understand why she asked me if she could cum. It seems obvious that's what I was wanting, that that's exactly what I was trying to achieve. Do Doms ever not let their subs cum? Would they really say no to that question? I have to admit though, some of the things she did that reenforced the power dynamic turned me on beyond belief. The way she knelt before me and followed my instructions perfectly. The way she displayed herself, unashamed and just for me. There's no question that Ana was right about me and the potential for pleasure inside of control. After I ask her some of my new questions, I want round two with her, and maybe also round three and four.

Just as I turn to head off for a shower myself, I hear the sound of a key turing in the front door. I immediately stop and listen as the door opens, slams closed and the voice of a man yells loudly,

"Ana, babe! You home?"


	7. Chapter 7

CPOV

I see him once he's passed the foyer and turning towards the room I'm standing in. And it's immediately obvious he's quite comfortable in this house. He looks to be roughly my age, tall and muscular, with long blonde messy hair. He's dressed well but casually. And he's attractive…

_Who the fuck is this guy?_

"Oh! Hey man," he says once he notices me. He was caught off guard but does well to hide it. He starts to approach me with his hand outstretched. "I'm Jax."

"Hello, Christian Grey," I reply as I firmly shake his hand. His eyebrows raise and he smiles at me.

"Christian Grey, I'll be damned. You did look familiar. So, you and Ana having fun yet?"

"I'm not sure exactly what you mean." I keep my face purely impassive though, I'm the one who's now caught off guard.

"Oh, I don't mean anything," he says with a smug fucking grin. I'm instantly irate. She must have said something to him about us. What the fuck else would that comment have meant? After an awkward pause, he continues, "So, hey is she around? I gotta grab a few of my things outta the garage."

"She's in the shower, I'm afraid."

"Alright. I'm just gonna get to it then. Nice to meet you Christian Grey." And with a polite but cocky nod, he steps past me and heads off toward the garage. Once he's out of sight, I slowly stalk over to the door Ana stated was her bedroom. I try to open it but it's locked. I pace outside the door for a few moments trying to sort through what just happened. I recognize that I'm angry but also I feel something else… uneasy maybe. Perhaps because I'm unclear of his relationship to Ana or just how much he knows about our arrangement. Fuck, could he be her fucking boyfriend or husband? I'm kicking myself for not looking over the background check Welch did, but I assumed too much. Assumed that her requirement of an NDA meant she valued discretion, assumed that if Welch had found anything suspicious, he would've alerted me.

After several minutes of my thoughts circling and almost frantic pacing, I resolve to wait for her back in the great room. I'm pretty sure I heard Jax close the garage and drive off, so at least we'll be alone for the conversation we need to have. Finally, she emerges, barefoot and in a silky but still casual ivory slip dress. Her long straight hair is still damp and her face clean and free of makeup. Her natural beauty is astounding, enough so that momentarily, I forget that I have a few fucking questions for her. Eventually, I regain my senses and ask in a stern tone, as I sit with a newly refilled bourbon.

"Who's Jax?"

"Umm," stopping where she is, she gives a slight shake of her head in confusion, "why do you ask?"

"I ask because he was just here, with a key to your house, to collect items of his from the garage." She sighs and gives me a sympathetic look, as if knowing I'm hanging on by a thread.

"He's a friend… who used to live here." My eyes narrow as I glare at her. That's not the worst possible response but I would've preferred if she'd said he was her brother or anything less… fucking irritating.

"I see. And what exactly does he know? We signed an NDA so I'm wondering how he knows about us _at all_."

"What makes you think he knows anything about 'us,' except that you're here with me?" Her tone has shifted away from polite and my frustration is reaching monumental levels.

"Because Anastasia, he asked if you and I were 'having fun yet.' That implies that I'm more than a simple fucking visitor, wouldn't you agree?" I'm getting more and more angry. Ana is being less than forthcoming and the answers she's giving are less than ideal.

"He's doesn't _know_ anything. He's making an assumption, that's all" I can see her body language wanting to disengage from this conversation but I'm not going to let that happen just yet.

"Are you involved with him?"

"No, and you don't need to worry about that. The agreement clearly states that we're both to remain monogamous, and as far as I'm concerned, we've already entered into that agreement."

"Okay, _were_ you involved with him then?" She pauses and gently plays with the ends of her hair, pensive and seemingly searching her mind for the best way to phrase her answer. When she speaks again, her tone is considerably softer.

"That's not something I'm willing to discuss. But I can tell you he's an actor, and he's very well known. He has is own interests to protect so you have nothing to worry about."

"That's not good enough!" I yell as I stand up suddenly and slam the glass tumbler down on the table next me. "How the fuck do I know what you two are up to?" My temper has broken through and the CEO asshole is out in full force. I stalk toward her, glaring but she doesn't give even the slightest flinch.

"Christian… I know you're new at this so I'll explain something to you… just this once. My submission is given out of trust and respect for you. If that's compromised, especially through behavior like this, then you'll get _nothing_ from me. Being a Dom isn't just about controlling your submissive. Before anything else, you have to be in control of yourself. So until you figure that out, and I suggest you do that quickly, you're just. gonna have. to trust me.

* * *

APOV

After a serious stare-down, Christian finally conceded and went off to his room for his own shower. Really, I think he just needs some space to process all of this. I wonder though, if his outburst was purely over a concern for his privacy. It felt more like jealousy to me, which is odd considering his aversion to commitment of any kind. I just wouldn't have guessed this from him but, I suppose I can understand being intimidated by Jax. He's handsome and confident, and even more intimidating if you know not only what an good man he is inside, but what an amazing and caring Dom Jax always was. They're big shoes to fill and I never meant for them to meet so soon, if ever. I don't want Christian getting discouraged about how much he has to learn.

Although, just as I had expected, Christian is an absolute natural borne Dominant. So much of what he instinctually did during our first scene was proof of that. How he never undressed himself but made sure I was completely exposed, how he instructed every move I made, never allowing me to decide a thing. And how he was constantly so aware of my body and my reactions to him. He had me on the verge of orgasm within seconds of being inside me. And I love that he had me look at him while we came together. He was so ravenous and then so thoroughly relived by his release. It was a beautiful sight to see and one I hope to witness many many more times.

I mess around in the kitchen, making lunch for Christian and I, while I daydream of things to come. But I'm interrupted when my phone rings.

"Mmmm, hello trouble maker." I say to Jax, half kidding, but half serious.

"Yeah yeah Ana. Look, I didn't expect him to be there. You just texted me about this last night, figured I'd come talk to you in person about it since it's a pretty fucking bizarre idea don't you think?"

"Yeah, but I have my reasons to try I guess."

"With Christian fucking Grey huh? I guess he does seem uptight enough… actually he just seems like a fucking asshole. I hope he deserves you, Ana."

"Well, you can let me worry about that, and that's the end of this conversation because you were never meant to know who he was. He's already pissed enough, so violating our NDA further wont help things. He did say you were grabbing some things from the garage?"

"Yeah, I also wanted to grab some snowboarding stuff. I'm headed to Vancouver for 3 months to shoot _Crimson_ _Peak_, thought I might have time for Whistler."

"Oh! You know I'll be there in 2 months right?"

"No I didn't know that. Are you working on something up there?

"Yeah but nothing's been released about it because one of the actresses, she gets stalked by the paps so bad, we're trying to keep it quiet." I wait for him to continue our conversation but he just sits silent on the other end. "Jax?" I say to make sure he's still there.

"So, you guys are gonna stay in that house, and use our playroom?"

"Jackson, I love this house. I bought it from you, remember? And I know you and I created that room, but it's not 'ours' anymore." I keep my tone light but speak bluntly. This isn't like Jax at all. Why all the fucking jealousy today?

"Alright well, maybe I'll see you in Vancouver babe. I'll call you later, gotta go." And he hangs up abruptly. I shake my head as I look down at the phone and then set it aside. At some point, I'll need to figure out what the hell that was all about…

Once Christian rejoined me in the kitchen, I decided to just ignore our previous heated encounter and get back to teaching. I was concerned he might bail after all the drama and me being unable to fully explain things to him. But for now, we only have a few days together so I want to cover as much as possible.

"You're still here so I assume you'd like to keep this going between us?" I ask him in a light playful tone, not interested in tempting the beast right now.

"I do, yes." His response is quick and sure, and seemingly beast-free.

"Good." I say with a genuine smile. "You were so amazing with our first time, Christian. You really are a natural Dominant. I felt safe with you, like I could let go. And that's always my ultimate goal, aside from pleasing you of course." Again, I feel myself beaming at him. "So, before we start another scene, we need to discuss safe words because I want next time to be in the playroom. We use safe words in this type of sex, because 'stop, no, and please don't' may be said a lot, but not truly meant. It allows us to maintain consent even when it may seem to be missing. But it also allows us to communicate very clearly and keep us within our limits. There're typically two words. 'Yellow' is used to convey that I'm getting close to my limits and you should evaluate the direction of the scene. 'Red' is used when I need all actions and the scene to end immediately. The goal for both of us, is to never need to use 'red.' We're taking it slow with the impact play but even for spanking, it's safer to have the words established." He's sitting across from me and until now, has remained completely impassive. But now I see hunger in his eyes and a raised corner of his mouth that's giving him away. He must like the idea of spanking.

_Mmmm, I hope you do enjoy it Christian. I know I will._

"So, while you finish eating, I'm gonna go get ready in the playroom. I'll be waiting in there for you... whenever you're ready, Sir" I smile lusciously at him and then eagerly head off down the hall to the playroom, so very ready for what will surely be another amazing experience with this new Dom, 'Christian fucking Grey.'


	8. Chapter 8

CPOV

I realized in the shower that my reaction was actually fueled by jealousy, an emotion I know almost nothing about. I felt it some when I was a kid, jealous of the time and attention my prostitute mother gave her johns, jealous of the relationship Elliot had with Grace and Carrick when I first came to live with them. Beyond that, I can't recall any other time I actually felt jealous. So why did I react that way? Elena was married the entire time we were together for fucks sake. And as for all the others, I couldn't have cared less what they were doing, they were always only temporary. But now that I've had a moment to cool off and think things over, I do believe her when she says they aren't involved anymore. I'm guessing he was her Dom and that's why she wont discuss it with me. In a way, I'm comforted that she does value discretion after all. It doesn't change the fact I find myself very fucking uncomfortable knowing there've been other men in her life. Even though my reacting with anger isn't even remotely out of character for me, as I've never done well when I feel I'm being lied to, what does strike me is the _intensity_ of the emotions I felt. I guess I need to acknowledge that there are many differences when it comes to Anastasia. I already knew I felt protective over her, now I also feel possessive. Yes… I think possession is the right word. And as our arrangement seems to enforce, I almost feel I own her.

_Fuck! I can't even pretend to say I don't enjoy the sound of that._

I've never wanted to 'own' anyone. It seems every moment I spend here, the more distant I feel from myself, or at least the version of myself before I met Ana. But also, I'm beginning to wonder why in 29 years, I've never ventured down this path before, why it never called to me or even crossed my mind. The feeling of being a Dominant has a ring of truth to it for me, as if it's a more accurate version of myself I've only recently been apprised of. It seems it's all starting to make a little more sense. And I also think I saw a glimpse in Ana of why she does this as well.. She looked so peaceful, happy, and serene while doing the thing I asked of her. She also looked... like Mine.

_Fuck the other guy. I'm the one here with her now._

I finish eating rather quickly, as my revery and possession is making me eager to be near her, inside of her again. I only thought I wanted her before, but that now seems like idle infatuation compared to the need I feel after having actually had her. Having experienced a sliver of what makes her so alluring, having tasted her sensuality, and watched her surrender herself for my pleasure, I feel like she's a delicacy I won't quickly tire of. Maybe not ever.

* * *

I stand outside the ominous red room and though going inside seems rather intimidating, it's not nearly enough to keep me from her. When I open the door, I find her kneeling in just her panties, eyes down, legs wide apart, and her hair in a single braid down her marvelous naked back. On the bed are a few things she seems to have laid out for us. From what I can tell, there's a blindfold, wrist cuffs, slightly larger cuffs for maybe the ankles, and several bundles of red silk rope. I walk in and take a seat on the red leather sofa in front of her. Though her eyes remain down, she begins to speak to me in her silky sweet tone.

"In this lifestyle, we often talk about testing limits. Most who are just starting out think this means, 'how many times can I make her cum,' or 'how hard can she take a paddle this time…' The truth is, truly testing limits is almost entirely about the mind." With these words, a reverent smile comes across her face. "It's about asking your sub how much she's willing to surrender to you. How far can you open her mind, how much pleasure will she let you show her, how much trust will she place in you, how many hesitances so will she overcome just to please you" She then lifts her eyes to mine and slowly moves to stand. There in front of me, her tall lithe frame in small white lace patines, is the embodiment of desire. I know I need to listen carefully to her words, but she's making it rather difficult. Seemingly unknowing of this fact, she continues. "In this dance of Dominance and submission, you will constantly be proving how much control you harbor over me, and I will constantly be proving to what depths I will surrender for you. For me, this is a chance to try and complete you. To fill every empty space you have with my devotion until you feel as if you can't live without me. It's then that I know I served you well and that you have a greater understanding of your needs and desires because you asked them of me… and I gave them to you."

She then walks to the bed and grabs the wrist cuffs. As she walks back toward me, she begins to fasten one around her left wrist. Once she's back to the sofa, she turns and places her round, firm, and full ass directly in my view. Due to the marvelous scenery, I fail to notice for several moments but she's waiting with both hands behind her back, wanting me to place the other cuff on her. I quickly begin doing her bidding as she continues talking. "I'm going to demonstrate a simple task that tests my physical endurance. I know you like the view so I'm going bend over for you and stay in that position for as long as you'd like. This may seem odd but it's just a basic example of testing physical limits, and only one of the many many ways you can ask for my submission to you. No matter how tired I become, I will try my best not to move, as if it was the difference between life and death. I'll do this because you would've asked me to, therefor nothing will bring me more satisfaction. But know that you can always ask more of me… Use your imagination. Think of all things that would please you most. But if I do fail to please you, then correction is warranted. I know sexualized pain is completely new for you so if the situation arises this time, maybe just try spanking me… just with your hand. It doesn't have to be particularly rough. You may've already engaged in spanking during previous encounters and if so, I encourage you to recall those times and then take it a few steps beyond. Hit a little harder… and a few more times. If you let go, it _will_ come naturally to you, so keep your mind open and trust your instincts. Do whatever feels right for you and know that I won't judge you… I truly believe this may satisfy you in a way you never knew existed" Her cuffs are both fastened now and as I pull down on the connecting chain to make sure they're secure, she exhales deeply and lets her head drop back in seeming pleasure. With a slight moan she says, "I remember that's how I felt the first time."

"Lets begin, okay?" She turns her head to look over her shoulder and softly and sweetly says, "I am all Yours, Sir." She then takes one step forward and with her legs slightly apart and hands bound behind her, she bends over at the hips, revealing a tiny wet spot on her panties over her lips. It seems that simply the discussion of this topic is enough to bring her pleasure. It's intoxicating to witness this so very intimate and telling evidence. But I'd decided before I came in here that I would take my time with her this round, that I would savor every millimeter of skin she has. But seeing her present herself to me this way, aroused, wet, and hoping to please me… I fear I will fail at my aspiration once again.

My only hope is to stay right where I am for now and try to hedge my arousal. So instead of fixating on the unspeakable beauty before me, I relax back and begin to sort through the meaning of things she's just explained. I must say, to hear her tell me that her goal is wanting me to feel as if I cant live without her, it startled me quite a bit. I don't fucking _want_ to feel as if I can't live with out someone, even if it were possible in the first place. The problem is that I could easily see how the addiction develops. She speaks of such pleasure and satisfaction in pleasing me, how could I not take joy in that. And if this interaction is truly as gratifying for me as she believes it will be, then we could quickly become a drug for each other. Mental stimulation linked with indescribable pleasure… the possibilities that presents are endless.

After being lost in my thoughts and fantasies for at least twenty minutes, a tiny sigh from her pulls me back to the present. I look up and am delighted to find Ana's legs ever so faintly shaking. She's starting to tire and finally, I think now would be a good time to begin further scrutinizing her ability to concentrate on her posture. I silently stand and walk to her, enough so that when my finger reaches into the waist of her panties from behind, she gasps in surprise, but doesn't waver. I begin to lower them slowly, down until they're stretched between her knees, bending as I go so that my face nears her displayed apex. I can't help but inhale deeply and take in the smell of her arousal. The sight and smell of her blushing wet lips calls to me so strongly, it's now testing my own endurance for torture. I stand straight again and lightly caress the back of her legs and up her spine. I delight in seeing her ivory skin react under my touch. I then walk around to her side and after wetting a finger in my mouth, I reach down and lightly tickle each perfect nipple until her breathing turns into quiet pants, but her dedication continues to prevail. So from where I stand, I reach down behind her with both hands to rub the crease between her outer lips and thighs. She's dripping with clear wet beads I want desperately to devour but I need to avoid touching her where she wants it most for as long as possible. I rub up and down, massaging and pressing her lips together, finally reaching far enough down that when I press together this time, I catch her clit for just a quick moment. With this, she moans loudly and one knee buckles, breaking her stance and in exhaustion, dropping her down onto both knees.

Inside my heart sinks. The longer her she stood there, the more I began to see how much she wanted to please me, how her devotion to me made me proud, happy even... I started out waiting for my moment to see her fail so I could begin having my way with her. But seeing her drop to the floor now, I feel the slightest disappointment, but mostly I worry that she'll be upset to have let me down.

"You beautiful girl, I know that you tried to please me, but despite your efforts, you succumbed to your own pleasure instead," I say as I cradle her face in my hand, offering her to look up at me. I gaze down at her with reverence but I'm met with a hoping and smug grin on her face.

_She's not upset, she wants to see what I'll do with her!_

I quickly hook one arm over her back and under her stomach, pulling her upright again. Without a moment of hesitation, I let my other hand swing back and come down swift and hard on her ass, creating a delightful smack and a rippling across her perfect bare cheek. The sight has my heart pounding and breath racing so I give her three more. Each time, she moans loudly, not in pain, but only in pure unashamed pleasure. Her skin in blushing pink in the shape of my hand. The adrenaline is coursing though my veins like fire and I can't fucking hold myself back anymore so I kneel down and lift her over my shoulder. As I walk us to the bed, I firmly palm her ass, grabbing and pulling hard. I notice myself growl just as I drop her to the bed on her back, arms still bound behind her. I look over her naked body while she pants hungrily now. Her panties still sit between her knees so I reach down and rip them down and off her legs. The time it takes to do this is just long enough for me to regain the smallest hint of control. I see the blindfold next to her so I reach for it and gently place it over her longing eyes, leaving her with a lingering kiss of her bottom lip.

I step back to undress, comforted that her eyes are covered and she wont be noticing the scars on my chest. I've grown so fucking tired of avoiding the questions that always follow. Anastasia particularly, is one I would prefer to spare from the hate and squalor that made up my first four years. I shake off the haunting thoughts and recenter my mind on the task at hand. Once my clothes are shed, I lean over her and as my erection lightly drags across her stomach, I gently bite and kiss and lick the skin of her neck. "Get up." I command her as I help lift my beautiful restrained devotee by the back of her neck. "Get on your knees and spread your legs apart." And she does so with the eagerness I've quickly come to expect from her. Once there, I tuck stray hairs behind her ears and then stoke her face with my thumbs. She moans lightly and I move two fingers over to her lips. "Open," I say as she's already parting her lips, seeming knowing what I wanted. I run my fingers inside and she softly sucks them in, her tongue massaging them gently. She wants more, it's obvious in her efforts, so I pull my fingers back and brace her blindfolded head until I have my tip placed at her lips. "Please me, Anastasia," and she opens her mouth widely, taking me in deep. I groan uncontrollably and instantly lose myself in her ministrations. Her mouth is like warm silk and she moves as if she'd spent years learning exactly the way I like it. Within minutes, I'm spilling into her mouth, never thinking twice about letting it happen. I know she'll get hers, I'm not even close to done with her yet.

* * *

APOV

I swallow Him down greedily as He fills me, gasping and panting in between. He just used me for His pleasure with little or no regard for mine and I couldn't be happier to feel Him embrace his position in our blossoming dynamic. He's such a natural, so perfect at this dance with so little instruction. I move to stand, a little clumsily due to my restraints and blindfold.

"Christian, you're doing so well," I say beaming at Him with pride. In an instant, I roughly feel His hand tight around my jaw and His deep voice telling me,

"The 'scene' as you say, is not over Anastasia. This is twice I've wanted to take my time to savor your beautiful body and have subsequently gotten… carried away. I'm going to do so now, I assure you."

He disconnects the two wrist cuffs and places me on the bed again. Over the course of at least an hour, He touches and kisses and smells every single inch of my body while I remain blindfolded. It's hypnotizing and though our interaction isn't particularly heavy in BDSM in this moment, I feel almost in subspace. I just lay and let Him take me in, happy that He seems to be enjoying my form so much. Eventually he makes his way between my legs and licks and fingers me until I cum in His mouth… twice. I lay limp on the playroom bed for several minutes, waiting for guidance from my so very generous Dom.

When he finally takes off the blindfold, I see he's already dressed again. I want so badly to see Him and touch Him, neither of which I've had the pleasure of doing yet. I know I could please him better if he would let me get to knew his body, to know how the differences in my touch could change His reactions.

"Sir?" I ask meekly, not sure how He'll react to my request, "I was hoping I could get to… get to know your body as well. I could be more pleasing for you…" His face grimaces ever so slightly but, while He stands across the room, He slowly starts to undress himself again. It's obvious He's not comfortable with this but I can't imagine why. In a few moments, his exquisite naked body is stretching out across the bed, His body language remaining confident, even though he's now soft and fully exposed. But as I lean closer to him I think I see the reason he's preferred to stay clothed. His chest is marked with scattered scars that look almost certainly like cigarette burns. My heart sinks, as somehow I'm know this was not a consensual act.

_Oh no Christian… Who would do this to you?_

I instantly reach out to touch them, wanting to somehow undo what was done but as I get close, his body tenses. I quickly realize I'm causing him distress so instead, I direct myself to the rest of his body, exploring Him in the same fashion he explored me. I must say, it's an amazing treat, as he truly is a sculpture of male perfection. Eventually though, my deal is sweetened when his patience and restraint ceases and He flips me over to take me from behind. He braces himself with one hand on the headboard above me and the other on my shoulder, helping to pull me back into Him with each thrust. We both cum together, his masculine groans and roughness forcing me to climax faster than I'm used to, and my pleasure occurring beneath him sending him over his edge as well. We collapse together, him on top of me, and melt into each other, long enough for me to fall asleep under his precious and welcome weight. Eventually I awake though, to find him climbing out of bed and getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" I ask with a sleepy and lustful voice.

"I'm leaving."

"Wait, what? Why would you leave?" I rise up and look at Him with confusion.

"I told you I would be booking a room." He answers as he finishes dressing and heading toward the door.

"I know but I asked you not to. How are you gonna get there anyway?"

"I don't travel without security. Taylor's with me and he's waiting outside now." I can tell he's irritated by my questions.

"Christian, if we're gonna do this, we have things to talk about." He stops and turns, intent on finishing this conversation, as he's practically running for the door at this point.

"I understand Anastasia, we can talk tomorrow." And with that he walks out of the playroom door and actually leaves…


	9. Chapter 9

**3/9/16**

**Making some edits and chapters are a little off number. Working on this story again, Bear with me :)**

**-LL**

* * *

CPOV

Right now I need distance. I need to be alone and work and run and feel like fucking Christian Grey again. So, just like a standard business trip, here I am this morning, waking up alone in a hotel bed with Taylor in the adjoining suite. I lay here feeling restless and can sense a part of me that's ready to have him call for the jet to head back to Seattle, away from this bazaar situation entirely. I wanted her so badly and I was so sure her lifestyle wouldn't scare me away. And actually, I was right… I've enjoyed and embraced the title quite nicely, so I don't believe it's the Dom/sub aspect that has me wanting to run. Unless it really is solely her submission that has me feeling... things. What I do know is that I'm not thinking clearly and I'm not sure I can fully separate her from this arrangement. I realized last night while Ana talked with me, how easy it would be to lose myself in this. Now I can see how quickly it's already fucking happening. And that _can't_ happen.

I laid on top of her last night and watched her fall asleep. I felt her breathing slow and a peacefulness come over her delicate face. She looked so beautiful I could hardly stand the sight. I intertwined her small hand in mine and felt myself wanting to stay like that indefinitely. And I almost did because the fucking gravity I feel towards her is that strong. It's fucking terrifying. But when she tried to touch my scars, my reaction was a clear reminder that even in the moment of enjoying her the most, and feeling so profoundly and unprecedentedly close to another human, things could never work in the long run. I was broken inside by the things that were done to me as a child. The way things ended between Elena and I is pure proof of that, and something I will never let repeat itself. So, as quietly as I could, I lifted myself from her and tried to leave the bed without waking her, which didn't work as well as I'd hoped.

* * *

While I sit at the desk in my hotel room, I reply back to an email from Ros regarding a current merger that has us both frustrated and wound up, my phone rings with Anastasia's number. I quickly reach to answer it, without even a hint of hesitation.

"Grey," I say, unable to drop the CEO persona in time.

"Hello, Christian."

"Good morning, Ana." I say with a sigh. Her voice is like silk and already I can feel that gravity again.

"I was wondering if I should expect you back today or if you've had your fill already?" In my stomach I feel a tug of guilt. Her voice, though she's trying to hide it, carries a tone of hurt and insecurity I've not heard from her before. And it's not without cause. In reality, her fear is quite close to being realized.

"Anastasia, I have some work I need to attend to. I may be back this afternoon but I can't be sure."

"I understand… I'm gonna spend the day with a friend then so I'll leave a copy of the contract for you to review if you're still interested in all this." She pauses and I hear her sigh. "Otherwise, it was nice knowing you." she says with the slightest giggle and abruptly hangs up. I know I shouldn't be brushing her off but her reaction is only a testament to why I'm doing it.

_No emotions my ass! She's already as wrapped up as I am_.

Normally I would end things right now. There's no point in stringing this along. I remember thinking before that fucking a girl more than once inevitably leads to this. Only this time, maybe she's feeling attached, but mostly it's me that's crossed that line.

* * *

APOV

I hang up on him because I don't want to hear him actually tell me he's done. He's pulling away and though I'm not terribly surprised, I'm certainly not happy about it. Christian's potential is limitless, and if he would only let go of what's holding him back, we could go so far together. And actually, I realized last night during our scene, that I'm not sure I want to provide him with too much more information on the 'standard M. O.' of BDSM. He has a pure undiscovered gift and I feel that if I just let him take us along using his own instincts, it could create a very unique and beautiful world for the two of us. Of course, I'll have to still guide him through a few more things but he's been mostly apprised of the critical aspects. The last thing I feel I should cover before turning him loose is set up a scene where I'm completely restrained in every way and urge him to really engage in impact play. That way, he's felt what it means to have complete control, and what responsibility that requires. With that scene, I'll also need to talk to him about subspace and how to recognize and take care of a sub who's gone there. It would be an unnecessary risk for me to allow that to happen without Christian being educated on how to handle it.

With hope hanging on that he'll not run from this, I leave the contract in the mailbox and head off to meet Kate. When I called, she was happy to meet for lunch and then go along with me to a film pre-screening I need to attend. The DP is someone I'm considering working with on my next project so I need to get caught up on his recent work. Kate's so great to take to something like this because she never holds back a thing. She speaks her mind and I absolutely love that about her. If ever I need a real opinion on my work or anything else, she's the one I go to.

When I get to the restaurant, Kate's already there, looking lovely as ever with her long blonde hair and classic beauty. She stands and hugs me warmly as I walk to her and I can feel how much we've missed each other. We were so close at one point but her and I have both been pretty successful in our careers. Unfortunately, I've learned that highly successful people rarely maintain their personal relationships all that well. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I've gravitated to BDSM, as a way to remain separated from the responsibility of personal relationships…

* * *

CPOV

As much as I don't want to, I feel at some point, I'll need to talk with Dr. Flynn about this prospective arrangement. I've discussed my sex life with him a couple of times in the past but only because he's so frequently pressed the issue with me since discovering my choice to never become involved. But in my opinion, I have more important issues to address, such as moving on from the total and absolute neglect I suffered from my drug addict mother, the abuse I constantly endured from her piece of shit pimp, and spending four days alone and without any food. And then there's the dreams, where I remember the real fucked up shit I would normally block out. Dreams where I watch countless faceless johns fuck her on the couch while I hide under the kitchen table, where I cover my ears to try and muffle the sound of her screaming and struggling while he's taking her life, where I can vividly smell house on the fourth day and still feel how hungry I am despite the awful stench.

I run my hands through my hair, pulling roughly as I go. The frustration, anger, and self loathing I feel recollecting that shit for even one second is enough to drop me to the absolute bottom of hell. And there in lies my problem. No matter how amazing the family that took me to raise, no matter how much love I see pour from their eyes, no matter how much fucking money and power I amass, I'm still born out of the scourge of the earth. And if having a prostitute mother and no way in fuck of knowing who your father is isn't bad enough, then all the shit that came after surely sealed the deal for me. I never stood a snow flakes' chance in hell at being okay, at having a normal life, at feeling actual human emotions. The best I can do now is keep my darkness to myself and not cause others pain because of the pain that was done to me. If I continue to get so involved with Anastasia, I can be sure that I wont spare her that pain.

Despite the knowledge of my own depravity, the thought of leaving LA this moment and never seeing her again just isn't bearable. So selfishly, I deny what I know and reach for my phone to text her anyway.

* * *

APOV

Christian Grey - So where is this contract I need to review?

As we make our way back to the car after a fucking god-awful screening, I see His text come across my phone. I smile like an idiot and of course Kate notices. Not much got past her in college but now absolutely nothing does, a blessing for her and sometimes a curse for those around her I feel.

Ana Steele - I left it in a sealed envelop in the mailbox.

I respond, more than relieved that he's decided to at least consider continuing. Kate persistently gives me her inquisitive stare, even once were in the car and driving back toward the restaurant to get her car.

"I can't talk about it Kate, you know how it goes!" Kate has long been privy to my lifestyle, especially since living with Jax, I had to let her in on a little bit or else close her out completely, which I wasn't willing to do. Jax already knew her and trusted me enough to trust her. But now she's gotten used to getting the details, even though she knows that's not the typical situation.

"Fine, but if things get serious, I'm gonna know him eventually."

"There is no such thing as getting serious with these arrangements. And, _you_ are getting seriously ahead of this particular situation, I promise you." She rolls her eyes and mutters "sure I am…"

_Fucking Kate! Why do you notice everything_?

Christian Grey - I'd like to review this with you in person, Anastasia. When will you be returning home?

With Christian's reply, my heart instantly begins to race with excitement. It's an odd reaction for me to be this overjoyed about a man but I attribute it to the pleasure I've found in teaching someone about this lifestyle. I've always been with and around experienced people in the community and the chance to share it with someone for the first time is really quite amazing. Once I drop Kate at her car, I text him back, heart still racing and eager to see him again.

Ana Steele - Soon, Sir. I wouldn't dream of keeping you waiting

* * *

CPOV

Once I see her pulling up to the house, with the contract in my hand, I send Taylor off with instructions to collect my things from the hotel and prepare to leave by 8 pm tonight. As much as I want to stay, I also really want to leave. I made the choice to come back here tonight but I'm still not sure of it was the right one. Ana meets me at the door with bright beaming eyes and biting her delicious bottom lip.

"I'm glad you're here." She says before opening the door for us. I'm not sure what to say in response so instead, I remain silent, following her into the kitchen as she pours us each a glass of wine. Once she's seated next to me, I lay the contract on the table between us.

"I'm curious, why did you want me to go over this now? I recall you telling me it would take a while to figure out the details." After a sip of wine and a hesitant sigh, she picks up the contract and sets it off to the side, out of reach.

"I did say that, I know. And to be honest, I'm not actually interested in the particulars of the contract. Mostly, I'm just wanting you to say yes."

"Yes to what exactly?" I keep my expression impassive but in my head, my fear of what she might say has me halfway to the front door.

"To making me yours." She says with the sweetest of grins, her eyes begging for something more. It makes me want her so badly, bad enough to give her the fucking world right now, anything she wants. But ever-present in my mind, I'm reminded that I'm not capable of giving anyone anything, besides my only asset, money. And that most certainly isn't what she's asking me for right now.

"Anastasia, you told me this would be an arrangement without emotions." My tone is harsh, as I'm almost angry with her for causing this inner turmoil I'm feeling. She's managed to place me in a situation that I've completely avoided until now. To want something so much and know you can't have it. My life has been spent focusing and obtaining the things I want, not lingering on the shit I'm not capable of changing. "In the short time we've spent together, it already feels like there's much more to it than simply sex." With this, she smiles even more and this instantly makes me irate. She senses my irritation so she stands and takes my hand, leading us down the hall into the playroom. Even though I know I should probably leave, I don't feel capable as I watch the hypnotizing sway of her hips as she walks. So instead, I sit on the red leather sofa like she asks and watch as she kneels in front of me. In an instant, I feel calmer and I realize she did this on purpose. She wanted me to feel in control because she knew I needed it.

_You beautiful girl… You do seem to know me so well already_.

"Christian, I do understand your concern, but I'm actually glad you feel that way. I had the same issue when I first began. I always felt that I was falling for my Dom, but trust me when I tell you, that's just the Dom/sub bond. It's deep and real, and more so, its necessary for this to work. But it has nothing to do with the traditional concept of being in love, only being connected. Try to remember that I'm satisfying something in you Christian, and you do the same for me as well. The connection we feel is because you're a strong and competent force for me to follow, and so I'm a devoted and loyal possession for you to enjoy. That is certainly not 'simply sex,' as you say." She looks up at me from under her long lashes and bites her lip... again, causing me to want to give in and just take her now, _hard_. I reach my hand out and pull her lip from her teeth so that I can think.

"Ana, I want this with you, I do. I just need you to know that I'm not capable of… more. Of that, I'm certain and I don't want to end up hurting you."

"Well... rest assured Mr. Grey, that's not the way in which you should worry about hurting me," she says as she gracefully stands and then crawls across the sofa and then across my legs until positioned perfectly over my lap, her ass sticking up and begging to be spanked. Slowly, as I surrender my convictions, I begin to stroke and palm her. She sighs quietly while I lift her silky light dress to reveal a very tiny pair of black thong panties. I then lift the center string and run my finger up and down it's length.

"These are for me, I assume?"

"Yes, Sir." She replies confidently. I instantly pull them down and lift each knee until I can pull them off entirely, then hang them in front of her face.

"You didn't know I would be here tonight Anastasia and still, this barely existent piece of fabric is what you chose to wear out of the house today?"

"...Yes Sir." She replies, now with hesitation, realizing that I didn't ask because they pleased me. I asked because I find them inappropriate. I stuff them into my shirt pocket and then instantly land an incredibly hard smack across her ass, the sound echoing through the room. She moans loudly, the way I've learned she does with this activity.

"Thank you, Sir." she manages to say between already rapid breaths. Again, I spank her hard in the exact spot as the first. She moans even louder and then again offers her thanks. This continues for several minutes, as I switch from cheek to cheek, maintaining my firm blows. Eventually, after at least 30, as her moans become more and more desperate, I look down and I notice her whole body is flushed and glistening with a sheen of sweat. I place a finger over her crease to find her drenching wet, as her moans would've suggesting. I slowly slide that finger into her and her body jerks in pleasure. She's already so close to cumming that I pull out and smack her ass even harder but, opposite of my intention, she cries out loudly and asks me to cum.

"No!" I reply reflexively, and in that moment I understand why it seems to be customary for the sub to ask first. I'm not fucking done with her and I still want her needy. I grab her hair into my fist and turn her head to look at me. "You are NOT to cum Anastasia! Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir," she replies with that ever present knowing grin of hers. The more we interact, the more I realize that those looks aren't borne of arrogance, they come from her pride in me. That thought makes a part of me feel more complete then I can ever recall, though I'm not sure why.

With my erection threatening to kill one of us without relief from it's confinement soon, I lift her up and stand, walking her quickly toward the bed. I, not so gently, push her backward and crawl on top of her. I pull her dress up and over her head, realizing she isn't wearing a bra. As I stand back again, I turn her partially over just enough to deliver one hell of a last spanking for the missing bra. I undress as fast as grace will allow and straddle her once again, locking both of her hands in one of mine and then reaching down to stroke myself. While I continue my own pleasure, I lean down close to her ear.

"I came back here today, Anastasia, because I'm incapable of leaving you alone." I say to her, groaning as I feel her heavy breath causing her hard nipples to lightly graze my chest. "I have to have you. I can't go back to fantasizing." I say and I lift up just enough to enter her oh so tight and warm center. She gasps loudly and as I snake my arms under her and up to hold her face, I groan with her on each forceful thrust, unable to control the animal-like possession I feel over her right now. "You are MINE, Anastasia."

"Yes I'm... Yes..." She struggles to continue but her body is in control right now, not her brain.

"Cum for me," I whisper in her ear. I need to feel this. Inexplicably, right now I need this like I need air to breath. I need to feel her cum around me and _know_ that she's mine. "Cum for me, Ana!" I demand this time. So she does. I feel her tighten her grip on my shoulders and that heavenly pulsing around my dick begin. Her eyes look into mine the entire time and I can see pure ecstasy and lust in them. With my gaze fixed back at hers, and her head cradled in my hands, I pour into her, kissing her flushed lips passionately, then pulling at her full bottom lip with my teeth. "Mine..." I mutter as my head falls down to her neck and I melt into her.

_Fuck, I am so fucking fucked…_


	10. Chapter 10

APOV

Christian pulled me into his arms after we each caught our breath. He then laid there, gently tracing the curve of my breasts with his finger and held me for so long while I agonized over what he was thinking. I knew he was leaving soon, and for some reason the way he was acting, it felt like goodbye.

But finally he began to speak and my fears were slightly quieted by his unexpected line of questioning. "Why do you enjoy me spanking you so much? It's obvious it gives you pleasure but what makes a person enjoy pain in that way?" I look up at him and see genuine concern in his eyes but I'm glad he's actually asking Instead of assuming the worst. Maybe this will allow him the chance to understand a little more about my world and what draws people to it. I want him to commit to this with me but I can see how that's hard for him to do right now. The more he asks and learns, the more he can fully give himself to this without worry.

"Pain is the very same as pleasure. They're each one side of the same coin, an intense sensation either way you look at it." I answer him coyly, as I know what he's really getting at. The same question all of us in this lifestyle get asked eventually.

"Alright Ms. Steele, assuming I understand that, which I don't, you weren't _born_ knowing that. What happened to make you subject yourself to pain in the first place?"

_And there it is… "What happened to you_"

"Mmm, such a common misconception, but nothing happened to me. I have no trauma in my past that lead me here. I just prefer it. It's always felt right to me, from the very moment I first learned of it." This has become somewhat of my standard response. It's completely true but I find it infuriating that people almost look disappointed to hear there's not more to it. As if they were hoping for me to have some past horror to provide them with some titillating drama. But not Christian. No, he actually looks relieved.

"So just how did you come to learn of it?"

"Let's see, I guess the very first time was when I was in undergrad. I went to USC with my friend Kate. She studied journalism and I was a film major. Anyway, freshman year, as part of her gen-ed classes, she took human sexuality. One day she came home telling me this story about a couple of guest speakers they had in class. It was a man and woman who were part of the BDSM lifestyle and in a Dom/sub relationship together. They'd done a few demonstrations for the class, and as Kate told it, one in particular where he put her up on the table in front of the lecture hall, tied her up, and put a blindfold and gag on her. Then he started using a flogger on her ass with an occasional up stoke that was hitting her pussy. So after a while of that, I guess she had this crazy orgasm even though that wasn't part of the plan. When the demonstration was over, she apologized and said that she 'wasn't able to stop it', and that her 'Dom has tremendous control over her body,' something like that, but I guess she was actually really embarrassed. Knowing what I know now about Dom's though, he knew exactly what he was doing. He pushed her to do something she probably felt shy about, and I'm sure he throughly enjoyed watching her experience it. Anyway, the whole idea of it just really turned me on, so I started to research more about it. Eventually, I went to a club here in LA where I met a few friends, Leila and Susannah, they were experienced subs and really involved in the community. They taught me what the lifestyle was actually about, how much intricacy was involved, and they helped me meet two of my first Doms." With this statement Christian jumps up and lands with a hand next to each side of my head. He towers over me, looking playful yet still quite menacing.

"Just how many Doms have you had Anastasia?" He asks as he leans down closer to my face, waiting not so patiently for my response.

"I had several short term arrangements, and then my last for 6 years. Now, I have You."

"And what about after me?"

_What an odd response..._

I don't know what to make of it actually, but his eyes reveal that he's no longer so lighthearted.

"I think that's up to you now" I say with a sweet smile, hoping to lessen his concern. After a few moments of an expression fraught with stress, he sighs and moves to stand. Without another word or look in my direction, he's dressed and readying himself to leave. He's struggling with conflict, that much is obvious. But the time I've spent with him this weekend has me curious as to the true source of his troubles. His emotional coldness, his mercurial temperament, those burn scars…

"Christian, I know you have to leave tonight but I wanted to ask you about something." I say, feeling like history is repeating itself, with him practically running out the door again. I stand and insert myself into his view, making it harder for him to carryout his escape. "You have to know that at all times, we have to be open and honest with each other, it's imperative." He pauses his actions and finally graces me with the gaze of his beautiful stormy gray eyes. "I noticed the scars on your chest. Will you please tell me what happened?" And in an instant, I know he's not going to say, his eyes and a small grimace across his lips telling me that whatever it is, it's far too painful for him to rehash.

"I had a rough start in life, that's all you need to know." He

replies with a resolute tone. I know not to push him any further, but he still needs to understand why I asked.

"Okay," I answer softly. "I would just hate to have something we do together trigger something from your past Christian. It's safer for me to know then not. But I'm choosing to trust that you know yourself." He nods slightly and sidesteps me, quickly gone through the door and out of sight. With a sigh, I follow him dutifully, catching up to him just as he's about to open the front door. With his hand outstretched, his intention obviously to open it but, he suddenly his mind changes. Instead, he turns and rushes me, narrowing the space between us until I'm against the wall and his hands are wrapped firmly across my cheeks. With the same predatory stare he wore the moment I first met him, he kisses me hard, claiming my mouth as his.

"You won't be with anyone else after I leave?" he asks after we break to catch our breath. I sigh at him again, saddened to see that not only does he not understand how seriously I take our arrangement, but he also doesn't realize how attracted to him I am. I don't think I could feel even slightly turned on by any other human right now, not after feeling what it's like to have him.

"No Christian. For now, I belong to you, and my pleasure belongs to you. I promise you, I won't cum until the next time you make me cum."

"Fuck, do I have to refrain as well?" He asks me, looking laughably concerned.

"Certainly not. You make the rules remember? I do it out of respect for you, and because it makes me need you, and the more I need you, the more likely I am to obey you." With this answer, his shoulders visibly relax. He must like the idea. Actually, I think he likes the idea quite a lot.

* * *

CPOV

While on my flight home to Seattle, I try to catch up on some emails but I can't fucking concentrate. It was so hard to leave her that, fuck.. I can truly say, I almost didn't. Had I not already gotten so behind on a tremendous amount of work, I would've simply demanded she spend a few more days with me. But If I'm understanding things correctly, I do hold the power to do that after all. Though, as much as I enjoy power, I wasn't pleased or relieved to hear her say it was up to me regarding there being another Dom after me. If only I could have it my way, no one else would ever have her. She's mine. The thought of another man touching her makes me furious and sick at the same time. But lurking just behind that possessiveness is the clear certainty that I can't hold on to her forever. I'm not made to be a permanent fixture in anyone's life. At some point, I'll have to let her go and apparently it will be all up to me to say when.

* * *

Sleeping this entire week has been practically impossible. Not only am I extremely sexually frustrated, having tasted Ana's perfection and yet currently being far apart from her, but my nightmares have been particularly more disturbing than usual. Last night, I dreamt of that son of a bitch burning my chest with his vile cigarettes. I woke, screaming and clawing at my chest, the pain was so real, it took me over an hour to shake the feeling and try to sleep again. Fortunately and yet also unfortunately, Anastasia crept into my thoughts and I couldn't think of anything but her until it was time to get up for my morning run.

Now that I'm home for the evening, I would love to get some rest but I need to speak with her first, I simply can't wait any longer. It's not that I intended to avoid contacting her but the last four days of space have been valuable for me to gain more perspective on this situation. It's not often that I enter into something without full understanding of the situation and with all facets being explored before hand. But after a great deal of thought, I see now that even though it can't last forever, this arrangement allows me to at least be with her for a good while. I'm more than capable of taking care of Anastasia's safety and well being, and I'm planning on becoming what she needs sexually, but most importantly, whatever emotions may be involved here, they're in a realm I feel I can manage. I know she can trust me completely, ...and oddly, I think I trust her as well.

I also feel better knowing that no one hurt her. She doesn't participate in this because of some fucked up past. I know what it's like to have been through hell, so I don't see myself capable of knowingly perpetuating a person's past violence. Her telling me that her proclivities come from simple desire, I feel optimistic about my ability to go deeper down this path with her. Enough so that I feel I may need much more in depth training than Ana is able to provide. She may know this game well, but only from one side and I would never want to cause her any actual harm. I just have no idea about how to go about it. And the way Ana learned, I certainly can't be seen in a club like that. I'll have to think of another way around it.

As I count the number of rings it takes for her to answer my call, I begin to feel myself tensing all over.

"Hello Sir," she finally answers just before I implode. I can hear that she's smiling and her sweet voice quickly feels like warmth washing over me.

"Anastasia, how are you?"

"I'm good. I'm happy you finally called, but I can't talk right now. I'm right in the middle of making dinner for a friend."

"What friend would that be?" and as soon as I ask, I hear a man's voice calling to her, 'Ana, I think this might be burning!' and I know… it's Mr. Teller. My knuckles whiten from the furious clenching of my fist.

"Christian I gotta run, I'll call you back later tonight, I promise," and with that, she hangs up. I slam my phone down hard on the desk, creating enough of a disturbance that Taylor is almost instantly in my office. Interesting that with all the business I conduct in here, all the yelling and commotion, that _this_ reaction was severe enough to actually alert him. Once I look up and dismiss him with only a brief wave of my hand, I then do everything I can to remain seated and not get in my car and drive to the GEH jet hanger... a futile battle I worry.

* * *

APOV

I know Christian isn't going to be happy but he'll just have to find a way to cope with the fact that Jax is part of my life. He needs to get over this jealous shit. We're signing a written contract to be exclusive, what the fuck else does he want?

"What's up babe? You look upset," Jax asks, as I notice that I'm somewhat aggressively poking at the stir-fry. After taking a moment to consider how I might resolve this, I toss the wooden spatula down and spin around to face Jax.

"I need to tell him who you are. I shouldn't sidestep it anymore. You know better than anyone, I need to be completely open with him. Can I please tell him?" Immediately after I ask, I feel a lift of pressure from my heavy mind. I know I've only been withholding what I have to, but I feel it will help settle him if I tell him the whole truth and he realizes he has nothing to worry about.

"He doesn't already know? How the fuck!?" Jax is shocked, which I guess I understand, since they've met face to face already but he must not realize that I still wouldn't take the liberty of outright naming him as a Dom.

"He doesn't know because it's not my place to tell him, Jackson. I'm sure he assumes it but I would never confirm anything without your permission." I receive a glaring pause from him, as I know he dislikes me taking this tone with him. But he's no longer my Dom and therefore, I no longer have the need to filter myself before I speak. Before too long though, Jax's face turns into something closer to delight. Arrogant delight.

"Well, tell him anything you like babe, I have nothing to hide from him."

_...you're giving me permission, because you want him to be jealous_.

"So how is the 'sub-training-a-Dom' thing working out for you two?"

"I'm only 'hypothetically'c involved in something like that Jax, but I imagine it would be going just fine." I hate having to dance around this. But again, it's not my place to confirm that Christian Grey would participate in this lifestyle, even though Jax and I are both 'members' and can be trusted thoroughly.

"Well, hypothetical or not, I want you safe. Promise me that you'll be careful with this shit. You know people get hurt when they don't know what their doing."

"I know," I say with a sincere smile at his concern for me. "I promise you I'm safe. I'm better than safe..."

* * *

CPOV

The flight time is only two and a half hours but the time it took to clear the impromptu trip with Taylor, notify the pilot, and do the preflight security checks, here I am at her door, much later than I'd hoped. It's just after midnight, but instead of being worried if I'll wake her, I worry about not finding her alone. I ring the bell and with every ounce of patience I've ever had to use, I wait. Luckily, she rather promptly opens the door, looking beautiful as ever but half asleep.

"Do you always just open your door to anyone at this hour?" I ask her, not pleased that she would be so cavalier with her personal safety.

"Christian? What are you doing here?" Her raspy voice is seductive which seems to distract me from her obvious 'underwhelmed to see me' expression.

"I'm here to see you..." I reply and I step past her to let myself in. I make my way just far enough down the hall that I can inconspicuously see into her room. Thankfully for everyone, she's alone. "How was your dinner?" I ask as I turn back to her. She sighs and stares at me. She knows full well what I'm really asking.

"It was great, thank you," but her tone is not to be misread, nor her expression, she's pissed at my audacity. "Look, I was given permission to speak freely with you so I can just alleviate all of your worries. Jax was my Dom, and for six years we lived here together. Our purely contractual arrangement is now over obviously. Now he's a friend, that's all. I confide in him." Her voice is still present but I'm only hearing waves of fury lashing inside my head. I suspected this information already but to hear her say it out loud, so nonchalant, it sets very poorly with me.

_When we're over, will she refer to me this way? As nothing more than a previous business arrangement?_

"He fucked you more times than you could ever count! He will never be just a friend Anastasia! And to have him here... it's disrespectful. I don't want you around him again so long as we're together." I glare at her from under my brow. I may be speaking very sternly to her, but I'm actually quite proud of my ability to control myself at the moment. If I weren't, I feel things would be flying through the air by now. Ana, on the other hand, is bordering on acting out her own physical hostility I believe.

"Christian… nothing I'm doing is disrespectful! Why is he SO threatening to you? He's not a past love, he's not a man who's secretly pining for me, he's just... not a threat! Yes, we've been together physically but that's over! Christian, I DON'T GET IT!" With her small arms waving wildly and big voice booming, her exasperation is more than obvious. I can't help but step to her, placing her beautiful face firmly in my palms and kissing her fiercely. My lips pull at hers and I feel my sanity slowly come back around. Her sweet as sin taste and soft full lips could seemingly cure anything.

"You are mine Anastasia, _all_ mine. Do you understand?" She looks as me with need, certainly physical but also need for understanding. She reaches up and wraps hers arms tightly around me and runs her fingers through my hair. It has the affect of making me feel like I'm the one who is actually _all hers_.

"Yes... I do. That's what I'm trying to tell you Christian."


	11. Chapter 11

APOV

We fall asleep together in my bed, naked and messy, and when I wake up, it's the middle of the night. I realize we've never spent an entire night next to each other like this.

Even though our little disagreement last night was intense, I think I finally got through to him about his issue with Jax, or at least it felt that way. The way he took me last night, over and over, it was so passionate. He kept his body wrapped around and so close to mine at all times. He kissed me for what seemed like hours, softly and sweetly as his tongue mirrored the movements he made inside me. He would go on like that until I couldn't help but cum, his size so perfectly fitted to please me. Then he would begin to thrust hard, as the sexiest groans I've ever heard in my life fell from his mouth and into mine. I felt as if my body could never please someone as much as it was pleasing him. He may never know just how amazing that made me feel. Words would never do it justice.

As I lay on my back, with one each of his muscular arms and legs each draped over me and his peaceful face just next to my shoulder, I notice even more than before, just how handsome he truly is. His looks are obvious, to the point where people can't help but stare when they see him. But what I see now, it's more than his perfectly chiseled bone structure and burning gray eyes. There's something so vulnerable and even sweet about him. In his normal life, I could see how one might never see what I'm seeing right now, his usual expression being the epitome of impassive, but right now I feel only adoration and warmth for this man. I would do absolutely anything for him. I am His.

Though I could stay here forever with him exactly like this, we happened to fall asleep with the lights on and the curtains wide open. If I don't close them, we'll be blinded by the sunlight far too early in the morning. But just as I move to get up, he seemingly reflexively tightens his grip around me.

"Stay baby," he moans softy, though he's still clearly asleep.

_Baby? He's never said that before. Or anything even similar._

I feel a tiny tinge of jealousy. He must have called someone else that at some point and now it's slipping out from his unconscious.

_Who are you saying that to Christian?_

Once I'm out of bed, I close the curtains, turn off the lights, and head into the kitchen for a quick naked cup of tea. While I lean against the island waiting for the water to boil, far enough away from his gravitational weight to think clearly for a moment, I recall that as handsome as he is, he also just showed up here tonight, unannounced. I know he called and I hung up on him before he got a chance to state his case but I have a very strong suspicion it was a split second decision after he heard Jax in the background. I know he's naturally a control freak and falling into the role of Dom very quickly, but I still feel like there's more to this. How angry he got when I told him what, I'm sure, he already knew about Jax, how quickly his anger turned into passion, and then the fact that he's still here, for the first time, sleeping peacefully in my bed right now.

_Mmm, maybe it was me he was calling baby…_

After my tea, I gently crawl back into bed with him, and he wastes no time pulling me into him so that we're touching as much as possible. My face is toward his and in the faint amount of light still left in the room, I just watch and stare, as he takes steady deep breaths and occasionally tightens his hold on me for no apparent reason. Somewhere deep down, I know that this is getting messy. I know that he feels more for me than maybe even he knows, but regardless, it's there. And buried even further than that, is my knowledge that my line between love and lust is starting to blur as well… but in this very moment, I'm perfectly okay with that.

CPOV

I wake after possibly the best night's sleep of my life. But despite my state of unparalleled relaxation, I quickly realize Ana's not next to me. I sit straight up in bed and look around, only to see she's not even in the room. Faintly, I can hear music coming from somewhere else in the house. I crawl out of bed and sift through our discarded clothes on the floor until I find my pants, my shirt nowhere to be found. I follow the sound of the music until I find her in the kitchen. There, I'm momentarily frozen while I watch as she dances around in nothing but my missing white shirt, her beautiful chest and ass bouncing with each small movement. All too soon though, she becomes aware of my presence and halts, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Hi," she says through a shy giggle. "Are you hungry?"

"Very." And I am hungry for food sure, but I could never eat again and my hunger for her would keep me going indefinitely. She serves us both delicious blueberry pecan pancakes and we sit together, eating quietly while sharing numerous heated glances between us. Luckily I'm hungry enough that I get through breakfast without taking her on this expansive dinning table we're sitting at. But the moment we finish, I take her hand, pulling her fingers from her own mouth and into mine, gently licking off any remaining syrup from breakfast. "Let's get cleaned up, shall we?" and I stand, pulling her up with me. I bend down slightly and lift her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. Instantly I feel her warm and wet center against my stomach.

"Fuck Anastasia," I say as I look down, my white shirt falling just far enough open that I can see her lips pressed against me as she rolls her hips slightly, wanting more from our connection. I groan and kiss her as I take off toward her bathroom quickly, knowing I can't resist her for long. Once we're next to her large soaking tub, I lower her down and reach to turn on the water. Before I get to it though, Ana drops to her knees and has my pants on their way off. I wouldn't dream of stopping her so instead, I lift each leg as needed while she pulls off my jeans and reach to pull my stolen shirt off over her head. She wastes no time taking me fully in her mouth and reaches her hands around to grab my ass firmly so that she can pull me even further into her. I feel the back of her throat and groan as I grab her face. "Ana..." I mumble, just barely comprehensible. I will never last with her doing this, not with how worked up I already was, not with her taking me that deep, not with knowing she's licking off the mix of our pleasures from last night.

"Let me," She whines as I pull out of her mouth. "I want to please you," and she continues her work, making tiny moans every time I feel myself throb inside her. She obviously enjoys this immensely and knowing that turns me on even more. I hold on as long as I can, both for me and for her. I would let her do this forever if I could but that's not even remotely possible right now.

"Fuck Ana... Fuck." And I cum hard in her mouth. Wave after wave, she takes me in and savors every drop. When I finally regain the use of my body, I reach and pull her up, her lips bright red and still wet. I place my hand over her sex, intent on fucking her the second I'm able. She's absolutely dripping wet but she shakes her head ever so slightly.

"It was for you. I just want it to be about you." She's looking at me with revery, something I can read in her expression but not something I'm able to understand. After my behavior last night, I suppose I wouldn't expect such a warm welcome. Though, when she was yelling at me last night, she certainly was angry but there was passion behind it too. Seeing that in her helped settle my overactive mind and when I took her, I couldn't help but pour into her how happy I was to be back there with her, how much I enjoy her gift of submission to me, how lucky I feel to have her.

Returning from my reminiscing, I see Ana has filled the tub and gotten in. She's looking at me quizzically but still remains patient. I step in behind her and pull her backwards so that she's resting on my chest. With a washcloth, I begin dripping water over her breasts and cleaning her ivory skin gently. She nuzzles her head into my neck and lets me continue, moaning slightly when I get to her center. Again, my intention is to finish what we started earlier but instead, she reached down to stop my hand.

"Christian, can I ask you something?" she asks timidly, something very unusual for her.

"Of course. You can ask me anything." I have _never_ said those words to another human, ever. Why the fuck that just came out of my mouth, I may never know.

"Who did you used to call baby?" she asks as she lifts up and turns to face me.

"What?" I ask, beyond confused by this left field question. "What are you talking about?"

"Last night, while you were sleeping, you said baby. You and I don't talk to each other that way so I was just curious who it was." She's still acting so small. Ana, even in full submission, is never small and it has me a little concerned.

"I've never called anyone that. Ever," I tell her resolutely and I know for certain that I'm telling her the truth.

"Surely you've had a girlfriend here or there, you didn't call one of them baby?

"Anastasia, I told you no. I also told you when we met that I don't do relationships." My tone is harsher than I meant but I don't want her bothered by this. I have no idea why I said that last night but it's nothing she needs to be concerned over. She gives me an apologetic grin and turns back to lay on my chest.

"Sorry, I was curious and just assumed there had been someone..." I appreciate her concession, not pressing for more information and oddly, it makes me more open to talking to her. With the washcloth, I continue to trickle water over her beautiful form and decide to tell her more about my reasons for not having relationships.

"No. They've all been meaningless random women who were around for a night or two at most. Except Elena. She was the closest thing to a relationship I've had and my first experience with sex. She's a close friend of my mother's, married and 41 at the time. I was doing landscaping work for them the summer I was 15." I explain as Ana sits quietly, listening intently.

"She had always made her presence well known when I was around but this one day, for pretty much the entire day, she sat outside by the pool in her bikini, just watching me. Eventually closer to dark, she went inside and so when I was done for the day, I went in to find her and let her know I was taking off..." I stop my caress of Ana's chest, as I don't want her beautiful form associated in my mind with the memory I'm about to describe." And she fucking came downstairs topless. At 15, I didn't care how fucking bazaar that was, I just felt my dick getting hard and got embarrassed. I tried to hide it with my hands while she just paraded around in the kitchen pouring us iced teas. She said to me, 'Christian you don't need to feel embarrassed. That's the reaction your supposed to have, darling. Come here, I want to show you something.' She walked up and kissed me, placed my hand under her bikini bottoms and then inside her, saying 'See? I react to you too.'" I feel Ana's shoulders curl in ever so slightly. She doesn't like hearing this but finishing the story is important I feel.

"After that day, we carried on together for years. She always maintained that we would never really be together, that she was married and that we were just having fun. But one day when I was back from Harvard, her husband Linc came home and found us fucking in his bed. He blew up and..." I run my fingers firmly through my hair, feeling almost as tense as I did then. "She fucking chose me! She told him that she wanted me and that she and him were threw, tried to throw him out. I took off, basically freaking the hell out because I'd never been interested in that with her. Problem is, after I left, Linc beat the hell out of her. Really bad. I've always hated myself for that. I didn't even care for her enough to consider what might happen if I left her there with him. After seeing how cold I could be, how little I'm able to care for another person, I knew I would never get involved with anyone ever again. I'm not capable of love and it wouldn't be fair to anyone." With this, Ana raises up once again and turns to face me. I'm waiting to see the look of disgust that would mirror my internal self image. But instead, she only looks... sad. Maybe even a little hurt, but not a single hint of disgust.

"After it all happened, she told me see didn't blame me for what I did. She said that she didn't actually believe in love, and that her reaction was only a momentary slip, because she knew she couldn't stand to be with Linc anymore… But before their divorce was even in route, Elena wrote me a check for a hundred grand so I could start GEH. To this day, I'm not sure why she did that. I'd really only ever mentioned it in passing. Sometimes, I think she was just trying to keep me close, a last attempt to get me to stay with her." Ana reaches out and grabs my hands, weaving our fingers together, then stepping up and over me so that she can sit astride my hips in the bath, she then places our intertwined hands around her waist.

"Christian I think you didn't stay with her because, whether you consciously admit it or not, you knew it was an abuse of her power. That you were a kid and she shouldn't have been doing those things with you. I don't care if you were okay with it. And I know some 15 year olds have sex but Christian, she was 41! That's not who 15 years are supposed to be having sex with! It was abuse... God, you've been through so much" Her eyes flick down to my chest and as my gaze follows hers, I quickly snap at her.

"You don't know what you're talking about! You're being overly dramatic. I was willing and able Ana. And she was gorgeous. Fuck, she still is." Unlike most of the people in my life who cower when I take this tone, Ana doesn't even flinch. Instead she just sighs and counters with her own firm but still compassionate tone.

"Christian I understand that you see a fuzzy line. Fifteen is just old enough that your body thinks you're ready to go. But nothing can change the fact that mentally, you were a child and she was an adult. Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Because I've never told anyone about it. The only people who know are me, Elena, and her husband... and now you. But to answer your original question, I never called her baby…"


	12. Chapter 12

CPOV

Ana seems to have decided to leave the conversation alone for now, which is perfectly fine with me. I feel a little regretful for telling her that story, actually shameful may be more accurate. I'm not sure why though, as I've never considered what Elena and I did wrong, just considered it proof that I'm a cold hearted asshole. Even though I'm sure I've been telling her from the very start of this, I think it's precisely that fact that I didn't want her to know.

We lay in the bath together, quietly soaking for some time but eventually, from the other room, I hear my phone ringing for the third time in a row. Today is still a workday and because I took off suddenly last night, I'm now worried something's going on at GEH I may need to attend to. I kiss Ana on the cheek and excuse myself from the bath, getting out and quickly drying off before wrapping the towel around my waist and heading for the bedroom. Luckily, when I look at my phone, only one call is from GEH, one from Dr. Flynn and the last is from my mother.

_Oh fuck!_

As soon as I read her name on the screen, the memory comes rushing back that Mia is back from Paris tonight and I'm supposed to be having dinner at my parents' house in Seattle in a little less than 6 hours. I hit send to return my mother's call, knowing right away that I'm going to broach the idea of bringing Ana with me. Up until now though, they've never known me to be dating anyone, much less bringing them to dinner. I'm sure my mother will happily agree to it, I just hope to avoid the Spanish Inquisition.

"Christian, hello dear. How are you?" She answers the phone, polite and sweet as always.

"I'm doing well, thank you mother. How are you?" My response just as formal and cold as ever.

"Wonderful. I'm so excited to get Mia back home. We've all missed her so much. Now, you are gonna be here by 6 for dinner right? No late meetings today?"

"Yes I will be there mother but first, I need to ask, may I bring a guest?"

"A guest? Who would that be?" I can tell she's already surprised, ensuring that her next reaction will be just as predicted.

"She's… a friend. I'd like you all to meet her."

"Oh, well…" The utter shock in her voice is almost comical. "Oh goodness. That would be just wonderful Christian! Please bring her! What's her name?"

"Anastasia Steele." I can hear the pride in my voice as I speak her name, which takes me by surprise. Ana is certainly worthy of pride but I'm just far more comfortable with my parents knowing I feel this way about her than I would've expected. Even with them, I tend to keep my cards very close to the chest.

"Anastasia Steele? Are you sure we haven't met her? The name is familiar."

"No you haven't met her mother, trust me. You know the name because she's a successful film director."

"Well, that's quite impressive. I look forward to meeting her. Six pm sharp now Christian, I mean it this time."

"I understand mother, we won't be late."

APOV

I hear Christian in the other room on the phone but despite my efforts, I can't tell at all what the call's regarding. I just hope he doesn't have to leave. I've really been enjoying this morning together. Occurring almost simultaneously with the end of my thought though, he walks in the room, so very commanding and in full-blown CEO mode.

"I want you to go somewhere with me tonight." He says as he stands tall and makes firm yet still impassive eye contact with me. "My little sister Mia is returning tonight after 4 months in Paris. I'm scheduled to have dinner with her and my family tonight and I'd like you to accompany me." I nearly choke when he says this. This invitation extended to any other person would likely leave them thrilled, flattered, or anything positive, but me, I feel sick, nervous, hesitant. I've never had to meet a man's parents. That just isn't part of what I do. I can only imagine.

_'Mom, Dad, this is my sex slave Ana. She and I engage in lurid acts you wouldn't believe. Ana, these are my parents, who raised me to never hit a woman.'_

Uhhh! This is absurd. I can't go with him tonight. Not only because the nature of our relationship is not exactly family friendly, but also because I'm guessing Grey has probably never taken a woman home, ever. Certainly not the child molester, certainly not one of the faceless one-night stands.

"That's probably not the best idea. We don't need your family knowing about me. That's a totally unnecessary complication for you. Just go and we'll work something out later."

"Anastasia, it wasn't a question. Including this one, we have only 7 weekends together before you leave for Vancouver. You _will_ be accompanying me to dinner tonight and then back to my apartment afterward." With that, he turns on a heel and walks out. I hear him immediately start making phones calls to his security to begin preparing to leave. I can't help but think again about the lines of this arrangement starting to blur. He sees no difference between our sex life and our personal one. He's just used to dictating everything around him and doesn't appreciate the boundaries that are otherwise so apparent to me.

When I'm out of the tub and heading into my room, I'm stopped when I see Christian in my closet looking through my hanging dresses.

"Umm... What are you doing…" He doesn't look up but instead grabs a peach colored, sleeveless, knee-length, and flowing dress and hands it to me, along with a tiny pair of lace panties I didn't realize he had in his hand.

"We don't have time for me to acquire something new for you, but this will do nicely. I'd like you to wear this, and only this, with a pair of heels. Not too high and not too flashy. Shall I pick those out as well?

"If that would make you feel more comfortable, then yes, you probably should," I concede. He nods and turns to finish his task whereas, I'm left standing here with a dress in my hand, terribly troubled by how to reel him in. It's perfectly common for Doms to select the clothing for their subs but I know this isn't coming from a strictly BDSM mindset. This is just Christian Grey, 'all natural,' displaying more of his complete and utter control freak tendencies. I know that's why I pursued this with him but fuck, he's a bit too good...

He takes only a moment to select the exact shoes I would have chosen.

_Figures_.

He hands them to me and then kisses me deeply while his hands gather my hair into a ponytail. He pulls my head back and deepens the kiss, quickly turning it into something heated and charged. I instantly feel my body start to react to his touch, my pulse hastens and my stomach flutters with anticipation of having him inside me. But just as I move to drop the clothes, he pulls away, leaving me gasping.

"Get dressed. We're leaving in 20 minutes."

Within only a few hours, we've made it to Seattle and Christian has decided to show me his apartment before dinner, since we have a bit of time to kill. When we pull up to a very extravagant high rise building, I find myself betting the farm he owns the entire top floor, if not more. I've leaned that Christian does nothing halfway, ever. In the elevator, when he punches in a code and then hits 'P,' I smile to myself internally, if for no other reason than I realize I'm starting to know him. A sub always strives to be able to predict her Dom's needs, choices, desires but Christian is particularly hard to figure out. He tells me almost nothing, I have to just observe him, hoping for small clues to emerge.

When the doors open, the space that I'm presented with does not disappoint. It's everything I would expect from him, down to even the tiniest of design choices. The space is expansive, so much so though that even with all it's decor, it still feels empty. The ceilings are at least eighteen feet high and the walls are mostly glass. Dark sharply veined marble spans every inch of the probably two thousand foot room.

"May I get you a drink, Anastasia?" he asks, his manners ever present.

"Yes, please," I reply softly and begin to walk through the apartment. I find myself in front of a beautiful black grand piano. I lightly graze my fingers across the keys and picture him playing, an unbelievably sexy image.

From behind, I feel his lips on my neck and he kisses me softly. I inhale deeply, having already begun to get aroused with my daydreaming, this kiss is enough to make me absolutely desperate for him. I stopped him too many times this morning from pleasing me and the consequence is overly apparent now. But, being the submissive that I am, I won't press him for my own pleasure. I see that as his gift to me, to deliver as he sees fit and only when deserved. He continues kissing my neck, licking and taking small soft bites. His hand extends around my front, presenting me with a glass of white wine. I take it into my hand while focusing my very preoccupied mind on trying not to drop it. I then feel his hands tracing down my hips, slowly making their way lower and lower. Once he's down past the hem of my dress, he lifts it and starts his journey in the opposite direction. The closer he moves to my center, the more I feel myself slipping. I'm so completely entranced, the need in me so much stronger than I'm used to. I don't know what it is about this man but my want for him is unparalleled and unprecedented. Just as I'm about to buckle under his touch, he freezes and whispers in my ear.

"I'll never make it though dinner without being inside you first." He reaches around and takes the wine from my hand and I'm so happy to be relieved of the responsibly. He sets the glass down and takes my hand, pulling me along with him toward a hallway.

In an enormous and masculine bedroom I assume is him, he quickly lifts my dress up and off my body.

"Take your shoes off," he states firmly. So I do. He then kneels down and starts to slowly peel off my tiny panties. Once he has them in his hand, he bundles them and brings them to his face, taking a deep inhale. As the air leaves, he growls seemingly uncontrollably. He stuffs them in his back pocket and starts to undress himself. As his perfectly sculpted body begins to appear, I pull my bottom lip through my teeth and hold my wrists out to him, silently asking to be bound. I see a tiny upturn of his mouth.

"Stay here," and he heads off out of view, only to return with a silver tie in his hand. "Is this what you want?" he asks and I eagerly nod to answer him. He starts to wrap my wrists and I revel in the softness of it. Once it's tied tight, he guides me backward until my knees touch the bed, then pushes me back until I'm lying flat.

"Bend and pull your knees up and then open them wide for me." So I do, eagerly, wanting so badly for my body to please him, both visually and physically. "Put your hands above your head and don't move." Once I'm positioned the way he wishes, he stands back for a moment, letting his eyes trace over my entire body. The lust in his eyes has me tingling with desperate need.

_Please, just touch me! I can't wait any longer. Please!_

Finally he undoes his pants, the last piece of clothing remaining. As they drop to the floor, he reaches down and takes his fully firm erection into his hand and begins slowly stroking himself.

"Rrrrr," a frustrated moan slips through my lips uncontrollably. I can't watch him do that to himself, while he watches me with that look in his eyes, yet I have nothing to help curb my desire. No pain, no pleasure, only my self imposed bondage and desire to submit. I close my eyes and try by best to calm my need, hoping to be his good girl. Hoping for him to be pleased with me.

Then he steps to the edge of the bed and I finally feel him, pressing himself at my center. He places his hands on my legs pushing them wider and wider apart as he slowly, so torturously slowly, slides into me. I can't help but moan loudly from the intensity of sensation I feel with him inside me. I feel myself clench around him, already far too close to cuming. I close my eyes again tightly, trying so hard to bring myself back from the ledge.

"Look at me," he says softly, still sliding in and out of me at a slow sensual pace. I open my eyes just as his hand touches my face, moving his thumb over my lips. "Open," he says and I take his thumb in my mouth and suck on it softly. Again, I'm clenching around him fiercely, my orgasm only seconds away. He pulls his hand back and places his now wet thumb over my clit, pressing and circling.

"OhfuckChristian! Sir... I have to cum! Please?" I ask him but it's only a formality, as I' already falling, cuming so damn hard, I almost feel faint. He just continues his efforts, completely unchanged and silent. When I recover, I look up at him to see a salacious grin.

"You needed to get that out of the way, because we're going to be here for a while." My stomach drops with excitement. I hope he feels the same amount of need I do because even that shattering orgasm has me not even close to sated.

We fuck for an hour at least, every minute of it better than the one before. Eventually, I watch as pleasure pours over him like I've never seen before. He fully lets go, so vulnerable and real and when he cums, he pulls out and marks my sex with his orgasm, rubbing it in when he's done.

"I can't have me running down your leg at dinner tonight. Now go clean up my beautiful girl. We've left ourselves only a few minutes before we have to leave." As I sit up, he unties my wrist and rubs them for a moment. And as I walk away, I hear him groan and I smile wildly, knowing I've pleased him thoroughly.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry to do this this way but there's no way to respond to guest relies.**

**Here's the way I see things. It IS getting confusing because they are both actually confused. They both started out with one thing in mind and are now seeing that it's looking a little different. They are both incredibly attracted to each other and that will tend to keep them going even if things aren't one hundred precent clean cut.**

**This story will not be picture perfect, I have to warn you now. Things are going to get very messy between them before either truly realizes what the truth is.**

**As far as CG getting pushed into this, I disagree. He has had his eyes open from the beginning and has chosen to explore the possibilities with her. He has, so far, very much so enjoyed it. Even the things he wasn't comfortable with in the beginning. He is after all, participating in a lifestyle about pushing boundaries and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, nothing about what him and Ana do together is abusive like with Elena. They are consenting adults who actively communicate with each other about their wants and needs. And he's still a control freak, as demonstrated in this chapter, so much so that it extends beyond their arrangement frequently.**

**I really do appreciate your opinion though, it always gives me perspective on how others are reading the story. Please continue to post comments!**


	13. Chapter 13

APOV

When I come out of his room, carrying my shoes in hand, I find him standing with a glass of wine and Frank Sinatra's _Witchcraft_ playing throughout the room. His expression is relaxed, even peaceful maybe.

"Dance with me," he asks as he sets the wine down and extends an arm toward me.

"I thought we had to leave," I reply with a shy smile. I'm not much of a dancer so I'll try anything to get out of this.

"Dance with me," he says again, his tone more sharp this time. I sigh and step into his reach. Once our hands meet, he firmly pulls me into him and instantly, we're moving around the floor gracefully. He dances so well, I find myself easily following his lead. Each time he pulls me back to him, his hand lands firmly on my back, holding me close and I look up into his eyes, the fire in them melting me little by little. All too soon though, the song ends and I throw my arms around his shoulders just to stay close a little longer. He lowers his chin so that he can reach my lips and kisses me, so lightly and gently, so incredibly sweetly. The moment is surreal, unlike the interactions I would except us to have, and I find myself with the slightest fear running through me and my mother's words appear unwanted in my mind.

_Never trust a man who can dance_.

I mentally shake my head to clear it. This isn't the way it's supposed to be! Actually, I guess this might be _exactly_ how its supposed to be… but not in my life, not in an arrangement like ours. I don't understand why we continue to do this, utterly incapable of keeping our boundaries in sight but I just want him so damn much. I don't care if we're deep in a BDSM scene or here dancing across his living room like real lovers. In this moment, I feel I will take him, any way I can get him…

In the car, Christian remains silent and gazing out the window most of the way. I think he must be nervous about his decision to bring me along tonight and I can't help but think he's probably right. I'm quite nervous myself. The more I think about it, the more I start to feel uncomfortable in my skin so I try distracting us both with light conversation.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I keep my voice light and sweet.

"Do you really want to know?" He answers, but all the while still gazing out the window.

_So much for keeping it light..._

"So I take it, it wasn't your mother?" He turns his head to mine, the look on his face one of guilt if I had to guess. Regardless, my stomach sinks and I can't seem to filter my words. "So she taught you quite a few things I guess." I say with an obvious tone of disgust.

"That's enough." His statement is sharp and final. "I don't want us discussing her."

"I'm sorry Christian. Really." I try to apologize to him. I guess I don't truly know the full story of them so I should watch what I say. I know he's a troubled soul, and who knows how much a part she's played in that, beyond what he already described.

Suddenly, the car is pulling into the driveway in front of an absolutely beautiful house, actually, mansion is more accurate. Is I peer out at it's grander, I realize that I've never thought of Christian as coming from money. Yes, he's successful in his life now, but the darkness in his eyes, I must've just assumed he came from different circumstances. We roll to a stop and Christian hops out, appearing at my side of the car to open my door.

"Thank you, Sir," I say to him from beneath my lashes. His chivalry naturally brings out the sub in me every time.

"Call me Christian tonight. Please Anastasia"

"I know. Sorry, it slipped." He takes my hand and guides me up to the large french door entry. Without knocking, its opened for us by a young blonde who greets and welcomes us inside to the foyer. Right away, appear two people who I presume to be his parents, both very attractive I might say for what age they must be.

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Anastasia Steele."

_Umm… Did he really just fucking say girlfriend?!_

I feel my throat clench, wanting so badly to choke but by some miracle, I remain silent and just smile as I shake both their hands. "Anastasia, these are my parents, Carrick and Grace," and I can't help but notice the glowing look in each of their eyes. Even more so than before, I'm certain I'm the first girl to ever grace their doorstep on the arm of this son.

"Please, call me Ana. It's very nice to meet you both." I just keep focused on smiling and not throwing Christian under the proverbial bus by high-tailing it for the door. I could seriously kill him for not preparing me for that. I didn't know what he was planning to introduce me as, but girlfriend was definitely not on the list. What if they ask how we met, where we went on our first date...? Just as we finish our introductions, I hear a squeal and the sound of high heels quickly clicking toward us down the stairs.

"Oh my gosh! Is she here?!" From the corner of my eye, I catch only a glimpse of her before her arms are around me, hugging me like a long lost friend. "You're real! Aaaaa! It's so amazing to meet you Ana!" She finally lets go and leans back with her hands on my shoulders. I notice right away that she doesn't look at all like any of her family members. Her hair is stark black and her skin olive. She's also absolutely beautiful, tall and curvy with the lightest of golden brown eyes.

"You must be Mia." I say with a wide smile. Her presence is infectious and I can't help but mimic her excitement.

"Yes! Christian told you about me? How sweet of you, brother!" She says to the both of us. "Come sit down with me, I want to know everything about you two!"

"Mia, take it down a notch." He attempts to shut her down sternly but it's instantly obvious that Mia isn't even slightly affected by Christian the way most people are.

"Oh you relax! I'm allowed to get to know her!" She takes my hand and heads through the house to the living room. In there, I see a young man with shaggy blonde hair and a muscular build. When he looks up to greet us, I notice what a genuine and inviting smile he has. His eyes are bright icy blue yet, still so warm. "Ana, this is our oldest brother Elliot." Mia introduces me politely.

"Hey. Good to meet you Ana." He shakes my hand eagerly and holds it for a beat too long while he stares at me, almost as if he's not sure what to make of me.

"Elliot?" Christian asks, trying to pull him from his wandering thoughts. He glances at his brother quickly and then back at me. That gloriously charming smile reappears back on his face and a sense of relief seems to wash over him. I'm not sure what just happened but I know one thing, if Kate was here, she would already have this one off in a private room. He's just her type!

"Dinner's ready everyone. Please come sit," Grace announces from the doorway. We all make our way into a large and formal dinning room complete with an enormous harvest table that could seat probably twenty. I wonder to myself if they've ever filled all these seats and who all those people would be. As dinner begins and conversations carry on across the table, I find that I'm still surprised that Christian comes from such a large and warm caring family. He tends to be so independent and aloof, and sometimes, even outright cold.

Except when it comes sex. There, he is passionate and engaging, this moment even being a perfect example. Even though we're at his parents house and under curious scrutiny from all members of his family, under the table he boldly caresses and inches his hand up my leg and toward my center. He takes note of each tiny reaction I have to him and proceeds accordingly. He wants to be sure that I am absolutely desperate for him later. If he only realized how little he had to do to make me feel that way.

During the course of dinner, I watch as the family interacts with ease. Grace keeps close tabs on each of her children, astutely inquiring about their personal lives and any recent developments. I enjoy watching it all immensely until the questions are turned toward me.

"Now Anastasia, Christian tells me that you're a film director. I think that's so amazing. Tell me, what films have you done?"

_Damnit, this is what I was afraid of..._

Since I'm Christian's "girlfriend," I imagine that even though this is just a simple harmless question about work, they will surely only become more and more personal.

"Well, the one I think most people know is _Lost in Translation_, which I also wrote." I respond modestly but with a hint of pride. I am proud after all. I've achieved a lot for my age and plan to achieve so much more.

"Whoa! You're a director!? And you made _Lost in Translation_!? I love that movie! But Ana, you're so beautiful. You didn't want to be an actress?" Mia unloads a heap of questions in quick succession, seemingly bursting at the seams.

"Mia, do not ask inappropriate questions!" Christian snaps at her, but just like before, she's not phased in the slightest.

"No," I giggle and place my hand on the top of his leg under the table, trying to let him know he can stand down. "I'm not one for the spotlight. I just enjoy creating something. Telling a story in a unique way."

"Well that's wonderful. I've seen that movie and I thought it was just brilliant." Grace says with a warm grin.

"Thank you." I return the smile but decide to keep quite beyond that, hoping to end the focus on me, but it doesn't work.

"Where do your parents live? Are they near hear?" Carrick asks.

"No, my parents live in Savanna Georgia. I'm actually visiting them tomorrow for a few days." I feel Christian's hand tighten firmly on my thigh under the table and when I look over to him, his face is scrunched up in absolute disbelief and disapproval. I return his expression with my own curious look.

"How nice. See Christian, some children do visit their parents now and again." Grace playfully winks at her son with love. "Now, can I get anyone some coffee?"

"Actually mother, I promised Anastasia a tour of the grounds. Excuse us." Christian stands from the table and grabs my hand, leaving me no choice but to follow. Once we're outside, his strides become long and quick. I try to keep up with him but I'm in heels and can only move so fast.

"Christian! Slow down please. I can not walk that fast in these heels!"

He stops in his tracks and spins around, hoisting me over his shoulder, only to quickly turn back to continue his path toward a large boat house. His gesture is arousing to the sub in me, but I know deep down he's crossing the line again.

"Georgia? Since when are you going to Georgia?" He asks sternly.

"I'm allowed to visit my parents. You have no right to be mad about that."

"Well I am mad," and he spanks me hard across the ass.

"Ahh!" I cry out. He stops abruptly and slides me down the front on him.

"Anastasia, I believe I _just_ discussed our time constraints with you." His tone is harsh like usual but there's also a hint of pain underneath. Even though I feel it tug at my heart ever so slightly, I know I have to put my foot down.

"This is NOT a TPE Christian!"

"I don't know what that means nor do I understand the rules to your game. But I _would_ like to know how is it that you're allowed to take off at anytime and not even bother to tell me. Yet, you claim that I am the one in charge, that I make the decisions Ana." I find myself torn between frustration and guilt. I know that he's used to getting things his way and I'm the one who offered to adhere to that but I also need him to understand why this is outside the lines of our arrangement.

"It's not a game damnit, it's just, there are boundaries!"

"But I don't want boundaries with you! I want you to be mine. Completely." I look up into his dark grey eyes. They speak volumes about the truth of his statement. I see clearly now that he wants much more from this than we originally agreed on. The realization makes my throat tighten for the second time tonight. And it reminds me of the reason I felt it the first time…

"And why!? Why Christian, did you introduce me to your family as your _girlfriend!?_"

"This is what I mean. If you were completely devoted to me, you would accept the introduction graciously and not be here yelling, quite rudely I might add, about how you want things to be." I sigh and close my eyes. I can't bare to look at him, because partly he is right, but I just wouldn't know what to say. So instead, I turn and walk to the railing of the dock we're standing on and look out over the dark sparking water. After a few minutes of our silence, I feel his hand on my lower back and in my ear he whispers.

"Let's go back inside."


	14. Chapter 14

CPOV

I may be pushing a little hard, I realize, as I watch her shut down in front of me. I'm not entirely sure what it is I'm pushing for but I just want more. More control? More of her time? I don't quite know and so for now, I should probably back off and give her space. I stand back, quiet for some time as she looks out over the water. So far, she isn't running for the hills and for that, I find myself grateful. Eventually, I step to her and place my hand softly on her back. I lean into her neck and as much as I want to lick and bite and kiss her delicate porcelain skin, I decide against it and instead, gently invite her to go back inside with me. I feel overwhelmed with relief when she takes my hand and follows me back up to the house.

Once we're inside, we begin to say our goodbyes to the family. My parents are absolutely beaming and I can overhear my mother already inviting Ana to join us for dinner next weekend as well. I feel a sense of warmth run though me seeing her interact with them like this. Just as my mind begins to explore what that means, I hear Elliot behind me.

"Hey. Ana's amazing bro." I turn to look at him and I can see he's being genuine, a rarity for Elliot indeed, but in an instant, of course the other shoe drops. "She looked familiar to me though. For a second, I was a little nervous that maybe I'd fucked her before."

"Jesus fucking Christ Elliot." Instantly, my blood boils and I feel my fists clenching tight with fury. The thought of Anastasia underneath him causes my stomach to feel as if it's in a blender.

"What? You know it's a reasonable concern brother. But hey, tell me she has a friend you could introduce me to."

"Fuck off Elliot. Don't come looking to me for your next piece of ass, you do just fine on your own." I march off, intent on getting Ana and getting out of here before my brother and I brawl like old times. My mind knows he's only joking but something about Ana makes me thoroughly insane with jealously and possessiveness.

On the car ride home, we're both just as quite as our trip here. But now instead of it being me, I feel she's the one who's somewhere else entirely, as she gazes endlessly out the window onto the nighttime city. Earlier for me, I had been struggling with an unnerving feeling of inadequacy. Ana would be joining me for dinner at my parents house, why I insisted she come along not clear to even me, and yet I had refused to allow her to decline. Why would I create a scenario like this when I know I will inevitably have nothing to offer this girl was utterly beyond me. I felt guilty for setting the perfect scene for disappointment. But after all is said and done, at the very least, I enjoyed simply watching her be ...her tonight. It was truly mesmerizing.

"It wasn't too terrible of a time was it Ana?" I ask her, concerned that she didn't enjoy herself the same I had.

"No. Your family are all very sweet and welcoming." she answers as she turns to me with a warm and shy smile. Quickly though, I see something enter her thoughts and her expression darkens ever so slightly as she turns back toward the window. "Mia is very beautiful. She doesn't look much like your family though."

"No. She's adopted." I answer her probing statement easily, which surprises me, as personal details have never been an 'easy' topic.

"Oh…" The tone of her response leads me to assume this fact hasn't come as a surprise. Instinctually, I would just stop there and effectively lie to her by omission, like I do the rest of the world when it comes to my private life. I don't want her knowing too much about my past. I've always sensed that once someone knows, they can never look at me the same way again. They only see a poor little boy who must now be fucked up beyond recognition.

_And sadly, they're right_.

It's the reason why, even at a fairly young age, I insisted my family stop telling anyone in our lives anything about it. But here I am now, and Ana has asked for complete honestly and openness from each other in this arrangement. Could she possibly handle the knowledge of my past differently than others have? Could she still see me as her strong dominant leader if she learns how broken I am inside? Again, for a reason unknown to myself, I risk it and decide to keep talking.

"Yes. We all are actually. Grace couldn't have children of her own."

"I see." Again, her tone indicates very little surprise.

"It's why Elliot and I are so close in age. I was four when the Greys adopted me, and Elliot was four and half at the time but had been living with my parents the entire time."

"Oh, you were four? Did something happen to your biological family?" My insides involuntarily clench and my breath hitches.

_Family? I never had a fucking family. But yes, never the less, I suppose something did 'happen' to her._

"Yes Anastasia, but that topic is not up for discussion." My tone changes dramatically and I look to her to make sure I haven't just preformed the coup de grâce to our arrangement with my fucking poor manners and abrasive conversation skills. But staying true to form, Ana surprises me once again.

"Okay Christian," she says sweetly, gazing at me from under her lashes as she reaches a hand over to my leg and caresses it gently. "I won't bring it up ever again." My heart sinks into an abyss as I look back at her, in resounding awe of her compassion and understanding for someone who has shown her nothing of the sort in return. I inhale sharply and feel a sense of desire wash over me that I find difficult to control. I feel as if I need my lips on her just to breath. I feel the need to pleasure her until she can't take anymore. I feel that no matter how long I fuck her or how deep I am inside her, it will never be enough. I can feel my breathing beginning to quicken and my fast-appearing erection becoming uncomfortable in it's confinement. I reach one hand forward to close the privacy glass to the back seat while I firmly grab her wrist and pull her toward me. She follows my guidance perfectly, just as one would expect from such a good little submissive. Once I get her positioned, facing me and straddling my lap, I reach to trace a finger up and down the small sliver of her beautiful porcelain skin that peaks out through the keyhole on the front of her dress. I continue my gentle caress until I can see the firmness of her nipples appearing even though her bra.

"Do you want me Anastasia?"

"Yes Sir," her voice small but confident.

"How much do you want me?"

"Very much, Sir," she pants now, with her eyes obediently lowered. Everything about her body is telling me that her answer is true, but still, I want more proof.

"Show me then. Show me exactly how much you want me." I see her pause with confusion for a moment. She's waiting for me to tell her how I would like to be shown but that answer won't come. I want to see what she would choose to give on her own accord. I would like a better glimpse into how she feels about me.

After the moment it takes for her to realize I won't be dishing out any orders, I see her expression show a hint of resolution and assertiveness. I feel a thrilling curiosity start to take over my senses when she crawls off of my lap and onto her knees on the seat next to us. I watch as she slowly lifts her dress to reveal her pantyless apex and then turns until her back is facing me. She then reaches behind her and folds her arms into a crossed position that holds her flowing dress up. She bends over and places her head on the car seat, giving me a glorious view of her beautiful folds and in a position of complete submission. She knows how much I enjoy this view of her, what it does to my desire for her. But in this moment, it's not having quite the same effect. She looks incredible, not a soul could argue that fact, but I don't want her submission right now. I want her passion.

I let her sit that way in the car for the rest of the drive. I remain silent and I can sense her need grow every second I'm not engaging her. When the car stops, I get out and open her door to find her still in position.

"Come, Anastasia," and I hold out my hand for her to follow me. When I catch a glimpse of her face, I can see a painful look of rejection. I pick up my pace to get inside so that I can quickly show her that though her choice was not what I wanted, there will be no rejection. I still very much want her.

The elevator door opens to the penthouse after an eternity's long trip and I can't help but lift her up and wrap her legs around my waist. I take large strides toward the bedroom and just before I let her go onto my bed, I take her sweet luscious lips and kiss them heatedly.

"I'll show you how much I want you instead, Anastasia." And I lower her slowly down onto her back as I follow closely behind. Again, my lips find hers and my thumbs pull her chin down just enough to let me in to ravage her mouth. Our tongues dance like well-known partners and both our breathing deepens quickly. My hands take on a mind of their own as they roam and grab at every inch of her. The fire I have inside wanting to consume her begins to ignite her as well, as I feel her usual submissive self control fade away. Her hands are also grabbing at me and before I know it, she has me undressed and I her. Our naked bodies intertwine like vines and our lips never leave each other until I stop, holding her face in my hands and our eyes locked deeply on each other. I so-very- slowly enter her to the hilt, until there's no way to be any closer to her.

"This is how much I want you," I say, as I slowly pull back and into her again. She leans up to kiss me and moans erotically into my mouth. Her hands move up into my hair and pull as her sex clenches tightly around me. I can feel her sweet wetness pooling below us as I continue thrusting into her slowly. Her body needs me the same way that mine needs her. I realize that even though we don't say these things out loud to each other, our bodies do it for us and I find myself not wanting to hold back. "I need this Anastasia." I slide in and out of her again, harder this time. "I need _you_," and I slam into her, taking her with all the energy and passion I have for her. She instantly cums around me, gloriously moaning and writhing beneath me. I look down at her and can see in her eyes that she feels the same way for me. This girl is mine, all mine, even if she doesn't consciously realize it yet. Her body certainly knows it and has already told me what I need to know. The sight of her blushing cheeks and chest, her glassy drunk on orgasm eyes staring into mine with the same passion I have for her sends me over my edge and I feel myself filling her. Still keeping our intimate connection, I roll us onto our sides and pull her tightly into my chest. Her head curls to nuzzle under my chin and I kiss her softly on the forehead. "Goodnight my beautiful girl."

"Goodnight Christian," she says and drifts off to sleep in my arms.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, just a warning. Starting with the next chapter, things are gonna be getting more messy and ugly. I want you to be prepared and just know it will all work out to a happy ending. Thanks for reading!**

**-LL**


	15. Chapter 15

APOV

I wake up with a jolt, gasping and sitting straight up in bed. Foggily gazing around, I can see that it's morning though, just barely. Christian is sleeping like a baby next to me. He looks like such an angel when he sleeps, it makes me want to just lay back down and stare at him while I play with his soft copper curls. But I know I can't do that. I have to get up and ready to go, quickly. Nothing like a Christian Grey flavored control freak in your life to fly in, literally, and disrupt all your plans. I was supposed to be leaving on a flight from LAX to Georgia this morning. Now I'll have to haul ass over to SeaTac and hope they can get me on a flight. Luckily I grabbed my phone charger and a change of clothes before we left LA. I can't believe I actually forgot about this trip until I was asked about my parents over dinner. In that moment, I was so damn angry. Never before has my sex life become so consuming. My immediate reaction was to blame Christian for the entire situation but after gazing out into the dark sparkles of the bay for a bit and calming myself, I realized that he shouldn't be held responsible for me forgetting something he didn't even know about.

I climb out from the covers and out of bed, searching the floor for the all scattered items I need to collect, then I make my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. I'm in there for maybe two minutes before I hear the door slowly opening and him walking up behind me in his open plan shower. He wastes no time getting his hands on me, and with every slow gentle stroke up and down my back, I grow hungry for him. No matter what the circumstances, I can't seem to ever resist him. So in one fluid motion, I turn to face him and raise my arms up to throw around him, but just as my hands reach his head, my throat tightens and my arms shrink shyly back down to my side. And then, like a firm slap across the face from a disappointed Dom, my attention is redirected and I finally realize why I woke with such a sense of panic.

_You can't just touch him whenever you want Anastasia! And… you didn't even think to ask before you came last night! Fuck!_

I've let things get so far out of bounds here and just like our issue last night, I can't really blame him for it. I believe Christian has been functioning as best he can to fill the role we agreed upon and I have to admit that, just like training a sub, their mistakes can often be traced back to the hands of their trainer. For the first time, I understand why Jax was concerned about this. I'm in over my head and I think I'll need help trying to fix it, or else… I may have to end it.

_But could I actually bring myself to walk away from him, even as messy as it is?_

Christian notices my sudden recoil from him but doesn't ask questions. Instead, he wraps an arm around my waist and one in my hair, then pulls me into his chiseled and soaking wet body.

"Mmm," he groans into my neck as he kisses his way from up from my neck to my ear. "Do you really have to go to Georgia?"

"Yes!" I snap at him instantly, but before continuing, I take a breath and readjust my tone. "I really do have to go, Christian," I add and turn my lips up to his to redirect him from my outburst and back to his original plan.

* * *

Christian had his way with me once in the shower and then again in his closet before I was able to get even partially dressed. Then, when I was all set to go and we stood next to each other waiting for the elevator, I was honestly concerned he was going to take me again. He really didn't want me to go, that much was obvious, but he wasn't trying to get his fill of me because he would miss the sex, I could tell he was truly going to miss _me_. Uhh! And lord knows, I have fucking missed him while out of town these few days! I've never needed to cum so bad in my life but after numerous dirty texts, pictures of myself in various states of undress, and doing everything else I could imagine to make him sympathetic to my plight, still, when I asked for permission to pleasure myself, he said no. Every. Damn. Time.

So now that I'm on my flight from Georgia and almost home, I'm literally buzzing with pent up sexual energy and frustration. Christian at least agreed to fly to LA and meet me there, and for that I'm thanking my lucky stars! Deep down, I actually hope the man has taken a Viagra or something of the sort because otherwise it may take the work of the endless plug-in magic wand to satisfy me tonight. Again, I'm struck by preoccupation with sex these days. I was pretty bad before, but now I almost feel like an addict, making this annual visit to my parents for my birthday this year feel a little like detox or rehab, except I fully intend to resume my drug of choice 'Christian Grey' the moment I get through the front door. But I full-well know I'll be utterly and totally distracted by him so I _have_ to remember that our situation in still tenuous and I need to meet with the Head Mistress of X-ES sooner rather than later so I can figure out how to fix this mess I've created with us.

I arrive home to find a small package wrapped in brown paper on the kitchen island. I instantly just assume it's from Christian but then realize that can't possibly be because I never told him yesterday was my birthday. As I examine the package, there's no return address but I see that it's postmarked from Vancouver Canada. That can only mean one thing…

"Hello?…" I call out, checking to see if Christian is here yet but I hear nothing so I decide to go ahead and open it.

Inside, I find one shiny new, perfectly sized, and perfectly shaped… butt plug. The solid stainless steel one that Jax just so happens to know I adore. He knows this because he was the one that introduced me to anal play in the first place. I remember during our first year together, he got me something very similar, though definitely smaller, for my birthday and I was actually a little pissed about it. I told him he'd gotten _himself_ the gift, not me. He said to me, 'No my sweet girl. Trust me that the pleasure will be _all yours_. I'm going to show you something you don't know your body is capable of. I'm going to teach you how to cum with that perfect little ass of yours.'

And so that day, we started my anal training. Eventually, and I must emphasize eventually, he turned out to be right. I did learn to love it, and still do very much. Thankfully, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was already very skilled at being in charge and controlling my body but he still took the time to talk with me until we'd alleviated all my worries and concerns. Then he took things very slowly, starting small and letting me find pleasure in the sensation before moving on. Months and months later, when we'd finally come to him taking me with his cock, anal had become one of my favorite and most erotic sensations I could experience.

With a sigh of sexual desire from recollecting pleasures I hope to experience with Christian, I search around in the box a little further and find the card.

"For the pleasures you seek, Anastasia. Here's hoping you still remember the things you've been taught." He didn't even sign the damn thing, because he knew he wouldn't need to, that I would certainly know who sent this. All of the sudden, I feel my frustration building up beyond belief because I _wanted_ Christian to be here so badly but, now I'm glad he's not, and I _wish_ he'd show up this second and take me right here on the counter top, but then he'd see this damn gift.

_Damnit Jax!_

I dig around furiously in my purse until I find my phone and dial his number.

"Hello babe, happy birthday. I assume you got my gift?" He answers with all of his charm and arrogance.

"Jackson Teller, this gift is not appropriate! I mean come on, you knew it would remind me of you. That's exactly what you wanted and you're not even trying to hide it!"

"Well, I believe I'm allowed to get you any gift I like, Ana girl." Again his tone is light and full of that damn arrogance.

"Well, I believe that you're not my Dom anymore Jax," I retort in mocking. "Tell me exactly why would you do this, knowing that it's disrespectful to Christian?"

"I'm only being friendly Ana. And you need to relax and adjust the tone you're taking with me. 'Your Dom' or not, you know better than to speak to me that way." I'm strong, but only so strong when dealing with a Dom I respect and care for, and he told me to change my tone… So I do.

"I'm sorry but Jax, please listen. You mean a lot to me and if we're going to stay in each other's lives, you can't do stuff like this. I'm begging you."

"I have to go babe. We'll discuss this later." He replies without sounding convinced of my instructions. I hear the phone disconnect and it takes all I have in me not to throw it across the room. All my patience is gone, with Christian crossing lines and now Jax too, it's more than I possibly handle!

I scoop up the gift along with all my other travel accouterments and head for my bedroom. As I pass the playroom, out of the corner of my eye, I see Christian standing in there and gasp.

"Christian! I thought you weren't here yet," I pant through my now rapid and startled breaths.

"I see you've opened your birthday gift from Mr Teller." He says as he comes walking out looking impassive as ever. But besides him seeing the package in my hand, I'm not sure how he knows this information…

"How do you know it's a birthday gift?" I ask him suspiciously.

"Don't be obtuse Anastasia, background reports must be run on every person in close association with me, its part of a standard security routine." He says this casually and seems to truly believe that him doing this without my knowledge is perfectly reasonable.

"But I'm certainly not part of anything _standard_ in your life Christian. You never asked or even told me about a background check!"

"So what did Mr. Teller decide to bestow upon you for this occasion that's so disrespectful to me?" He asks, obviously unfazed by my irritation.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," I snap at him. "I called for you. Why didn't you answer? Because you were you trying to eves drop?"

"I didn't hear you call for me but I did hear your phone conversation. I apologize for that but we should still discuss it." In that moment, I realize that a shit load of trouble has fallen into my lap in just a few moments time and I don't have the energy to get into this with Christian. I drop the items in my hands and slowly lower myself to my knees. With my head lowered towards the ground and rubbing my eyes, I quietly and calmly say to him,

"I think I need you to leave."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16


	17. Chapter 17

chapter 17


	18. Chapter 18

chapter 18


	19. Chapter 19

chapter 18


	20. Chapter 20

chapter 18


End file.
